Saturday, January 31, 2009

If I were a dictator






If I became the dictator of my city, I will ban the following:

1) public make out session where you can clearly see they are exchanging saliva and about to devour each other
2) hoochies with thong underwear above their pants line
3)sweatpants/lululemon pants with UGG boots
4)dudes with no shirt in public sidewalks

I will make sure that there are special squad of people to patrol above mentioned activities and when busted, people are forced to perform 15 girl push-ups right then right there.

Friday, January 30, 2009

the common ground




I don't know about you but I do not understand "knock knock" joke most of the time.

Why are boobs called "knockers"? Is it because it resembles door knockers or because it's like sooo knock out to have big boobs?

And does Mammoth has anything to do with breasts? In medical Latin base "mamm-o" and "mast-o" means breasts (ie:mammogram and mastectomy) and did you know that manboobs is called gynecomastasis?

Stomach grumbling is called borborygmus. I used to have serious problem with that in grade 11 social study. It would be so loud.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

I rub you for ron tye



That is like the ultimate asian saying from Full metal jacket or something of Vietnam war movie. Anyways, if I could dress like a cast member from Jesus Christ Superstar (JCSS for short), I would be happy, very happy. I think I can sing at least part of a song from side a and b from the record. I just love singing along with it like I enjoy singing along to Pinkerton album by Weezer.

This picture does no justice to how awesome the movie really is, but really, this is the best Judah ever.

I feel like I've been using "awesome" way too often to be cool.

Oh yeah, and did you know that if you spray oil from an orange peel to a balloon, you can make the balloon pop? You know how when you peel an orange, sometimes oil from the peel squirt into your eye and it hurts like bitch? Yeah, that oil. When you have a chance, experiment. I am just warning you that it may happen really fast and you don't even know what happened.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Things I think about



* When I get out of taking shower, or boiling a pot of pasta, I get really taken by mist of steam around me. You know, you can basically see every molecule, kind of. This could be because I am extremely near-sighted and usually I can't see anything without an aid from corrective lenses but I just can't help myself from chasing each molecule-looking thing's movements.

* Have you seen a movie called "Innerspace"? Martin Short, Dennis Quaid and Meg Ryan was in it. I can't remember a lot about it but I'm positive Martin Short has to swallow this tiny machine driven by Dennis Quaid to help himself from something or rather. Anyways, the whole point is, I think about being able to go into inner body and check out peristalsis and food being digested in stomach, and movement of fetus. That would be awesome.

* I think I am not concentrating enough about controlling my dream. I am more into seeing weirder and weirder dreams. I need to be more hardcore about having control in my dream, I think. Reading my logs are just fascinating on its own. I'm not sure how long more I want to keep on doing this but it's kind of fun.

I have no idea what's going on in the second photo here but it looks awesome.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

me hate




I hate washing my hair, a lot. Especially in the winter when my head gets cold. I hate washing my hair now than when I was a kid. I didn't hate washing my hair as a kid because my mom would wash it for me and I didn't have as weird of hair as I do now.

Some people don't like washing their hair because they can't see what's going on when washing soap off and they say they don't like the feeling of not being able to see what's coming.

I am now on day 3 of not washing my hair and I thought about not washing it for the 4th day but I think when you are almost 30, and somewhat fashion conscious girl, you probably should wash your hair.

P.S. That's dog being shampooed. I guess it's called Beagle dogs but man, they look like Andy Rooney from 60 minute, don't they?

P.P.S. Other picture is some sophisticated machine for washing your hair. That's what I need.

Monday, January 26, 2009

TV



I spend 5 minute or so today to see how many times you can watch Seinfeld a day. The answer is: 6 times. That's not a lot. I thought you might be able to watch it more than that. But you know what you can watch more than that? TV shows about losing weight and that show called 2 and a half men with Charlie Sheen. And also, I am sad to find out that you can watch more Friends than Seinfeld. I love Seinfeld, I must repeat once more.


That's what I call lame.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

larger than life



Smurf is only 3 apples tall and they are jolly lads. When us human being ( giant ) dress up as one of them lads, it's just not happening. It loses charms. Human painted blue is not appealing to me.

I've had a thing for them blue things for a very long time. In fact, it all started when Japanese dairy giant made an ad, starring smurfs as "cheese mascot". I was in my one digit age, and image of smurfs struck me like a lighting bolt. I always thought of them as "Cheese Fairies", very fondly.

When I came here, one of my friend got a giant smurf doll from V.V and we got on talking about it. I told her that she had a doll of "Cheese Fairy" and she corrected me saying it's called "Smurfs". I didn't believe her. I mean, to look back and think it through, what the hell did I know? NOTHING. Maybe that was me being a teenager and always wanting to be right, or just being plain dumb. Who knows and who cares now?

But anyways, my whole point is that smurf dress-up is just not right and please don't destroy my daydream.

P.S. You as Papa, pretty spiffy in spite of the fact that I don't approve.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

dream report



I ate 3 pieces of sharp cheddar and drank a warm cup of milk before I went to bed. Mr.Peanut and half human half horse thing was in my dream. I can remember which one but one of them was wearing horse jockey pants ( you know the one Hitler and such wears? Kind of like Hammer pants).

Monday, January 19, 2009

did you know?


when you lick an eyeball (try not to hit iris nor pupil. Just the white part), it tastes sweet. I know because I've tried it before.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Castaneda me



I will be drinking warm cup of milk with honey every night before I go to bed to ensure vivid or lucid dreaming. Actually, I started the challenge last night but it didn't work so good because I'm sick. I kept getting hot and waking up so my sleep was ridiculously choppy and shallow. Although I think I dreamed about revenge and murder, involving old folks home, a ghost holding a Japanese lantern and Robinson Crusoe in Japanese.

I know that when you are cutting an item out of your diet or fasting, you are supposed to do it for at least 2 weeks, but does that apply to this challenge? I would like to do it so I can actually remember my dream and possibly, controlling my dream.

Cantaneda or what?

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Scientific leap, please


I just thought about this last night, wouldn't it be great if you can switch your hands with others? When you want someone to scratch you but that person ain't getting to the spot, just switch your hands and you can go wherever the itchy spot is! Or whatever else you think it would be neat to switch your hands.

I caught a cold somehow and delirious. But this hands swapping sounds great to me.

Friday, January 16, 2009

milky, molecule-y veil


As much as I find fog amazing ( as I am basically a hermit who only has learner license), it used to freak me out. When I was younger, I was stuck in a dormitory located in front of the Shawnigan Lake. There was one occasion where my friends and I were out walking along the lake in pretty heavy fog ( I don't really get why we were out in that weather as I recall it was kind of dark outside and we were not allowed to be off-campus in the dark ) . As we were walking by the lake, I got struck by the imagery from Friday the 13th ( I don't know which one, but it had Corey Feldman as a kid in it. I think it's earlier one ) where a boat on foggy lake was involved.

I must have very active imagination considering I was at least 15 at that point and I don't know if mid-teenager freak themselves out by remembering a scene from movies. Of course, if you were stoned or on acid, that would be completely normal. I think deep down, underneath my crassness, there is me who get scared very easily. I should test this theory by going to a "haunted house" attraction this summer.

But all in all, I love how fog drapes our familiar landscape into something like Hobbit Shire ( I live in Saanich ) and dirty city into something little more glamourous.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Mystery of the button

Have you actually seen anyone with an actual "outy"? I did have a childhood chum whose family was "pro-anything-french". She had an outy and she used to claim that "french black babies usually have outy and they are special." Is that claim true? I don't recall it was all that outy to me, not as much as the picture anyway.

I would like to know if anyone that I know have anything to say about inny vs outy bellybutton. Personally, this outy picture is pretty bizzaro.



Wednesday, January 14, 2009

I cannot get over it

This is a picture of "normal" toes.
This is a picture of webbed toes


TOES TOES TOES

I just can't stop looking and picking at them. You could say that I have foot fetish to a point. Toes, I love looking at them and hate looking at them. People with gross feet weirds me out. I think gross nails to be specific. Gross toes and nails on anyone, man.

Mind you, I am the proud owner of mangled right pinky toe-nail. I just hate it and I have thought of the ways so the pre-existing nail will fall out and the new one will grow. I don't think I can do anything about it though and it saddens me.

I love touching my toes a lot for some reason too. I love looking at people's toes also ( so long they are normal or pretty looking or super weird ) I just like to clarify that toes don't get me excited in sexy way, rather, I like to look at them as science specimen. I'm sure other people have thing about body parts also but too shy to admit it.

Well, I am not ashamed to say that I am interested ( or grossed out ) by toes as well as people's scalp smell ( but not greasy hair ).

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

informercial



I have not have cable for really really long time. I think last time I had cable access was when I was 21 for maybe 6 months. Now I have one again. I watched quite a bit of Food channel for a while but now I'm back with my good old CBC radio 1.

Anyways, on CBC, there is a show called "Age of Persuasion", which is all about advertisement industry. In one particular episode, the topic was so called "Direct response". It was about those TV ads that sell knives that never go dull or easy pasta boilers and whatnot. One of them was on this thing called "Shamwow". It does make you wanna buy it.

This is why TV is stupid. But I still enjoy watching Jeopardy, nature and history channel. Oh wait, love the Seinfeld re-runs.

Monday, January 12, 2009

hippies were radical



To whoever came up with the idea of tie dye, I salute you. It wasn't really hippy thing probably. Mostlikely, hippies stole the idea from, I don't know, South America or some other country. But still, tie dye patterns are amazing to look at. To me, I see either dissected Alveolus or brain lobe section in the first one. With hormones secreting out towards the center. The second one to me, looks like neoplastic lesion or carcinoma growth.
It is true, I did think that tie dye was lame in high school but the 90s are long gone and I can embrace tie dye more freely now that I'm reaching my cougar years. I am still not too sure about the John Lennon glasses though. That shit is wack.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

cooler





Pegasus VS Unicorn? Which is better? 

Pegasus: can fly
Unicorn: has killer horn that is supposedly potent with the power for eternal life
Pegacorn: its awesomeness is beyond belief of this world

My favorite? My little pony, of course.


Friday, January 9, 2009

viva la japan




So, this weird creature is called "Ultraman".  He is from a planet far away ( I cannot recall the name at this moment ) and is living among us in human disguise as part of the national security thingy.  When he changes out of his man disguise to his natural stature of "Ultraman", he can only be on earth for 3 mins. If he gets real close to the 3 mins deadline, his chest timer beeps. 

He has shit load of siblings and cousins. And weird looking brown alien is called "Kanegon".  It is one of the Ultraman villain.  I like "Kanegon".  "Ultraman" little too silver for me.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

on nature



Spider webs are beautiful. Even some spiders are beautiful. I saw natural tiny water fall yesterday due to so much rain as of late. Nature is the shit.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

my idols




I am so into Sherlock Holmes. Books are good, but really, I love Jeremy Brett from Granada series Sherlock. That Sherlock was my first major crush as a 5th grader. I loved the general malaise, melancholy yet weirdly ADD feeling of this Sherlock.
P.S. The dude next to him is Mycroft Holmes. He is the older brother of Sherlock and he is far more brilliant than Sherlock, but he suffers from laziness;therefore, Sherlock is more well known. 

Another one of my mild obsession is Angela Lansbury from Murder, she wrote. I don't know what's so great really, but I love that show and I love Angela Lansbury. 

Frog brothers from Lost Boys are awesome too! But they are more in the line with Atreyu from Never Ending Story though. 

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

easy trip down


If you ever have a chance to look at an old, plain looking door or water/heat damaged wood floor/door, you will come across many imageries. I did, while I was peeing.  Don't you think this looks like a grumpy face?

Monday, January 5, 2009

ghosts





A thought came to me while I was brushing my teeth last night: I haven't been afraid of ghosts in a while. I had this weird image of a person gliding on the floor towards my back.  Does anyone remember when was the last time you thought about ghosts? I don't really, but I can say with confidence that I thought about ghosts and such a lot. I'm from country where they used to do TV specials on ghosts and haunted mansions. Did you know that there are hopping vampires in china? ( that was huge in the late 80s to early 90s ) 

I am a-ok with good spirits, gnomes and smurfs.