Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Do you like chewing gum?

I love chewing gum. I have always liked chewing gum. I think I inherited my love for chewing from Jeffrey, my father. My bro and I both like chewing gum a lot.

When I was a little girl, I would fall asleep in our car while chewing gum, and it would stick to my long hair. It took me 3 bad bangs to really stop doing that, or more bad hair cut.

As you may have noticed, I am also pretty into conspiracy theory.

I think sugar company has something going on. As a good hardcore/artsy teenager, I used to go through old National Geographic magazine and tear out weird pictures. I then noticed that there were strange ad about Sugar being great appetite suppressor or if sugar is so bad for you, why aren't the kids fat already.

So when I was looking at ingredient in gums I noticed literally all the brand had aspartame in it. Believe it or not, even something like Hubba Bubba has aspartame in it.

Ever since I made this discovery, my life has been a bitch. Only gum without it came from Finland. Other one being this natural gum or some hippy crap that sticks to your teeth like there is no tomorrow.

I guess I will never have gum stuck in my hair ever again.

This is just to make me feel better:

This is to make you feel gross:

This is how I feel when I chew gum:

This is how I feel when I don't chew gum:

Or, like this:

Sunday, October 25, 2009

I've been lazy again. It's going to be like this since I have hard time holding my attention to any one thing for long period of time. But people have giving me enough side jabs to get me going once more.

All you have to do is nag. Then, I will do it.

Anyway, as you know, I am from land of wonder. We are proud producer of: UNIQLO brand, chopstick and great pastries to list a few.

We are also known for random invention. All you have to do is re-read my old entry about Dr.Nakamatsu, the inventor of lots of things pointless.

I love looking at useless inventions that people put a lot of money into to get it paten approved. Don't you feel the love in it?

Anyway, I used to know this twin, who claimed that when they were a little girl, they submitted butter in the shape of chapstick for children's invention contest. They did not win at the time, however, some asshole actually got paten for the butter stick later on.

When I was looking up "Chindogu-bizzar invention", I came up with series of useless shit.

All you have to do is really look at these photos and feeeeeel the loooove.

Do not fret though, you North Americans also made pretty useless shit:

OK, fine, it's not as insane as my people. All I have to say is that we are as hard working as slave ants or bees. SO much so that we need to sleep on the way to and back from work and this is so useful when you do that:

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

I used to make fun of Star Trek. Ok, not as far as make fun of, but rather, I just didn't understand the hype. But now, I am addicted to Next Generation. I totally have developed crush on Data and his pasty skin.

What gets me the most is his mannerism. Being a humanoid cyborg, he has very peculiar expression and such, but now that he has emotion chip, he's all good to go.

This picture sums it up for me:

I always develop crush on such strange characters. It must have started from Sherlock Holmes in grade 5. I just never went for the main stream. Other weird one being Corey Feldman. Corey Heim was way better looking but I was one solid Feldman fan.

Whatever happened to the other Frog brother?

It's a mystery why I didn't develop anything towards Doogie Howser. Probably because the concept wasn't all that appealing. There was nothing wrong with him besides the fact that he is a baby genius and that's not that special.

Look at his buddy's ears though, it's huge!

Talk about going for the "wrong guy"

Monday, September 14, 2009

Beetlejuice is brilliant.

Winona Ryder is so awesome as a goth girl. Where are the tasteful goth these days? What's up with the stripy socks associated with goth? Isn't it more like wicked witch of the west style?

Winona Ryder ruled in the 80s. Things went down from Reality bites. Why did we think it was such an awesome movie? She kind of looks bad in that one.

On the other hand, Heathers RULES. More like, Monocle on high school student is radical!

You may have hard time telling that I am dead tired from reading this blog, but really, I am tired.

The best monocle wearing creature in the world:

Did you know that Mr.Peanut run for Mayor in 70s Vancouver? It's all true!

Sunday, September 13, 2009

How do you feel about zits?

Do you pop them once they are ripe or do you let them go? On the same note, how do you deal with black heads?

I am pretty into popping em. Mr.Peanut is quite against popping but I am very into it. It is so satisfying.

Like right now, I am nursing pretty ripe zit on my forehead and I am so tempted to pop it. Mr.Peanut will be very unhappy if I do that, so I won't.

It all started when I popped Mr.Peanut's black head on his face couple of years ago. It was by his mouth and it was he, who asked me to pop it.

Only, it didn't work so good and it got infected and became hideous. To the point that people purposefully avoided mentioning the hideous zit.

He had to go to a walk-in clinic to cut the zit open and then it went away.

But I am still into popping zits.

Do you guys remember, My so called life? Don't lie, I know you used to watch the show religiously just like I did. Anyway, do you remember this ad that plays when you are watching the show. all about acnes and pimples?

"People think I eat a lot of chocolate bars, but the truth is, I don't..." It was told by a boy with an accent. Was he supposed to be Quebecois?

This is such seminal commercial. Since I don't know how to update youtube video, you have to look at this link and see the commercial for yourself.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

I love diner even if they are not vegetarian friendly. I love those haggered professional waitresses with smokey voice. I just do. It must go back to when I was growing up, how my dad had grungy diner food and against my mother's protest, he will take us to dirty diner with amazing food.
The waitress must be tired of life, but full of punches. Cannot look like this:

On totally different topic, do you know anything about wall hangy thing from around the world? As in it's usually a face of ethnic person, such as an Arab, Native American, etc. What the hell is that? It's like nightmare wall. They are usually at your grandparent's house or persian people's house. Not to stereotype here in anyway though.

I don't even know how to search for the picture! I only found this. I think this really does tell you how scary they are. Very grim. All business and no fun at all!

And I think this company is responsible for producing such crazy concept?

Saturday, September 5, 2009

I am highly affected by how things feel on my hands and what things smell like.

I was wondering how does it feel to touch Jabba the hut, or Mutant Ninja Turtles?

Are they kind of, slimy? Or are they dry to the touch, kind of like dried up earth?

I once had bold spot and as much as it weirded me out, it had very smooth texture to it ( I guess because there was no hair there)

I imagine it feels close to touching those hairless kittens.

Although, nothing like reptiles creep me out. I absolutely detest touching them, little frogs excluded.

But some part of me want to touch iguana.

And I really hate the smell of BBQ chicken!


Wednesday, September 2, 2009

I heard this at work yesterday: Yao Ming is huge because the Chinese government made two really tall people to marry.

I read this on newspaper today: New Japanese first lady says her soul has travelled out of her body to space 20 years ago.

I love conspiracy theory. I always have loved them. It tickles my nerd points just too perfectly.

I am curious to know what happens to our people's first lady though. Is she going to act all looney and shit?

Our people are known for many things, including being into ghost experiences and UFOs.

Are your people?

Here are some examples:

This particular one lives in a river. His favourite food is cucumber and his favourite activity is to scare boys and take their balls away. True story.

Monday, August 31, 2009

Who would you rather be friend with, Ernie or Bert?

It's a tough choice because both of them don't look anything like a person you know and Bert's face shape is like a shallot, and his coloring is like curry powder.

Where as Ernie is little more easy to take in, but he has affinity for rubber duckies despite the fact that he can live on his own.

It's kind of like asking would you like to be friend with Tintin despite the fact he gets into serious life threatening danger all the time? He also gets hit in the head too many times that you would have to live with the fact that he may fall down with seizure any minute.

Do you know who I can be friend with hands down?

This guy:

Nerdy, but genius

Sunday, August 30, 2009

It's been a long ass time since I last posted. I just kind of got lazier and lazier. After all, I am human and I do run out of things to talk about.

Although, technically, that is not true since my mind is always wondering and thinking about "stuff".

Today, I would like to talk about my childhood.

Since I did not grow up in North America, naturally, things I watched on TV and things I read as a lassie are very different from what you folks know.

For example, I strongly believed that Smurfs were blue cheese fairies. I grew up watching lots of anime that you folks will not be able to relate to unless you are one of those people who are really into that kind of stuff.

Although, I did watch Inspector Gadget, Mutant Ninja Turtles, Rainbow Brite and Little house on big prairie, as a little girl.

Anyway, so to reference what I knew as a child is very difficult. This is such a disadvantage when I'm playing Trivial Pursuit. I love that shit but because I wasn't here before mid 90s, I don't know anything. It sucks, sucks real bad.

Although, the other day, I discovered that my friend's husband and I knew the same thing: Barbapapa.

I don't know if you know, but we Japanese people have real fondness for anything French. We love baguette, beret, scarf around our neck and French kids books.

Barbapapa was about a family of shape shifters. It's pretty awesome since they are bunch of blobs, really.

"Clickety click- Barba Trick!"

These bunch of blobs used to fascinate me as a child. You should look em up. It's pretty weird.

The largest pink blob is the Barbapapa.

And this is where they reside and this isn't the whole thing. Note that one of the kid can change herself into a harp.

I guess they made lots of things Barbapapa. This is totally not cool in many ways. It kind of disturbing in so many ways.

Have a blob day to you.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Davis Sedaris once wrote about his sister, who was "tannorexic". Basically, someone who gets obsessed with tanning during the summer time and goes extra mile to get brown.

I actually know of someone like this.

Anyway, I have been starting to get wicked watch and bracelet tan. I would like to cultivate that. I'm pretty into watch tan.

Look what I found:

Gross and hurtin'


Usual LoL cat style:

Thursday, July 23, 2009

I am 30, going on more like 39 or 40 in my mind, and 21 or 22 physically.

As I was putting on my array of plastic bows and flower barrettes in my hair, I realized that without acknowledging to myself, I am turning into Courtney Love, circa 93.

Not that whole Kinder Whore look, but certain aspects of it. I am not sure if I should be comforted by the fact that I am going to look young as a 60 year old lady or questioning myself like, how long I'm going to wear barrettes and shit. I stopped for a long time because I was too cool, then recently, it started all over again.

If you can imagine Kramer's spazziness in action, Jay and silent Bob's Jay and Jeff Spicoli in speech, and sort of like Courtney Love, crossed with Jerry Garcia in fashion, you get the idea.

No, it's not confusing at all, you just have to think about it long enough. It will come to you.

I would aspire to be like this lady, only I will be chewing gum, not cigar.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Maybe it's because I watch too much Seinfeld, but sometimes I catch myself moving like Kramer. I caught Mr.Peanut doing the "Robot" yesterday. He informed me that he does very good impersonation of "Robocop" at work. I kind of want to see that, but maybe not.

I am a spazz in my movement, and a mellow dude in my temper. If I were to be an ice cream bar, I would be melona. Not that I like ice cream. By the way, only place that I know you can taste Melona is by the Odeon, that Korean kiosk.

This came up when I was looking up "spazz" yewwww.

I don't like things to be cold. I prefer "tepid". I only eat ice cream handful times a year. Here is a great example of my liking for luke-warm: I drink pop luke-warm.

Have you ever had Dr.Skipper from Safeway? I used to be into those when I was 19. This is obviously back in the day when I could handle drinking a whole can of pop and eat a whole bag of chips and salsa and feel awesome.

Anyway, my roommate and I used to get Dr.Skipper in case. We used to fight about whether to keep them out of the fridge or in the fridge. I fought for out for an obvious reason. I don't know why we couldn't just keep them separate and agree.

Now, I probably drink pop, like 3 times a year. It makes me insane.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Tonight, the talk of heavy footed up stair neighbor came up as a topic. There exists "the thumper" in every apartment block. I cannot fully get mad at these people because I do walk little funny myself. I do not wear heels in the house though, that's for hos and bitches.

Not that I can see myself walking so I cannot be absolutely sure, but apparently my ass shakes a lot but my upper torso stays still. I have been told that my father and my brother also walks the same. I have never noticed anything but it could be because I also walk like that. I am not "the thumper" but rather, "the ass swag". Mmm, that sounds bad.

It's not the sexy kind of "ass swag" it's bizzarro kind of "ass swag". Just watch me walk sometime.

I think this is the kind of shoes I should wear to get rid of my swag:

This mother is bouncy. Very, very bouncy;therefore, you won't notice my swag.

This dude invented it:

Supposedly, he has 600 patens in Japan alone.

See, sometimes reading my blog can teach you new things!

Monday, July 13, 2009

You know Flintstones, the TV show. This is assuming that you know what I'm talking about.

You know, in Flintstones, they carry ridiculous stone currency and whatnot?

I think barter system should make its comeback. Barter in, green buck out. It would make so much more sense.

I guess we can keep the paper money and coins, but most of the things should be barter system. I would be uber wealthy right now if things worked this way.

This maybe very hippy of me, but I think it would be much better world.

Wow, this entry is actually quite profound, man.

Look, this lady's bartering item is so obvious: white magic!

Do you know what these people barter? TEAM GROUP HUG,HUG AND HUG ALREADY!

Do you know what this dude offers? AWESOMENESS!

You knew this wasn't going to end easy, didn't you?