Saturday, July 25, 2009

Davis Sedaris once wrote about his sister, who was "tannorexic". Basically, someone who gets obsessed with tanning during the summer time and goes extra mile to get brown.

I actually know of someone like this.

Anyway, I have been starting to get wicked watch and bracelet tan. I would like to cultivate that. I'm pretty into watch tan.

Look what I found:

Gross and hurtin'


Usual LoL cat style:

Thursday, July 23, 2009

I am 30, going on more like 39 or 40 in my mind, and 21 or 22 physically.

As I was putting on my array of plastic bows and flower barrettes in my hair, I realized that without acknowledging to myself, I am turning into Courtney Love, circa 93.

Not that whole Kinder Whore look, but certain aspects of it. I am not sure if I should be comforted by the fact that I am going to look young as a 60 year old lady or questioning myself like, how long I'm going to wear barrettes and shit. I stopped for a long time because I was too cool, then recently, it started all over again.

If you can imagine Kramer's spazziness in action, Jay and silent Bob's Jay and Jeff Spicoli in speech, and sort of like Courtney Love, crossed with Jerry Garcia in fashion, you get the idea.

No, it's not confusing at all, you just have to think about it long enough. It will come to you.

I would aspire to be like this lady, only I will be chewing gum, not cigar.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Maybe it's because I watch too much Seinfeld, but sometimes I catch myself moving like Kramer. I caught Mr.Peanut doing the "Robot" yesterday. He informed me that he does very good impersonation of "Robocop" at work. I kind of want to see that, but maybe not.

I am a spazz in my movement, and a mellow dude in my temper. If I were to be an ice cream bar, I would be melona. Not that I like ice cream. By the way, only place that I know you can taste Melona is by the Odeon, that Korean kiosk.

This came up when I was looking up "spazz" yewwww.

I don't like things to be cold. I prefer "tepid". I only eat ice cream handful times a year. Here is a great example of my liking for luke-warm: I drink pop luke-warm.

Have you ever had Dr.Skipper from Safeway? I used to be into those when I was 19. This is obviously back in the day when I could handle drinking a whole can of pop and eat a whole bag of chips and salsa and feel awesome.

Anyway, my roommate and I used to get Dr.Skipper in case. We used to fight about whether to keep them out of the fridge or in the fridge. I fought for out for an obvious reason. I don't know why we couldn't just keep them separate and agree.

Now, I probably drink pop, like 3 times a year. It makes me insane.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Tonight, the talk of heavy footed up stair neighbor came up as a topic. There exists "the thumper" in every apartment block. I cannot fully get mad at these people because I do walk little funny myself. I do not wear heels in the house though, that's for hos and bitches.

Not that I can see myself walking so I cannot be absolutely sure, but apparently my ass shakes a lot but my upper torso stays still. I have been told that my father and my brother also walks the same. I have never noticed anything but it could be because I also walk like that. I am not "the thumper" but rather, "the ass swag". Mmm, that sounds bad.

It's not the sexy kind of "ass swag" it's bizzarro kind of "ass swag". Just watch me walk sometime.

I think this is the kind of shoes I should wear to get rid of my swag:

This mother is bouncy. Very, very bouncy;therefore, you won't notice my swag.

This dude invented it:

Supposedly, he has 600 patens in Japan alone.

See, sometimes reading my blog can teach you new things!

Monday, July 13, 2009

You know Flintstones, the TV show. This is assuming that you know what I'm talking about.

You know, in Flintstones, they carry ridiculous stone currency and whatnot?

I think barter system should make its comeback. Barter in, green buck out. It would make so much more sense.

I guess we can keep the paper money and coins, but most of the things should be barter system. I would be uber wealthy right now if things worked this way.

This maybe very hippy of me, but I think it would be much better world.

Wow, this entry is actually quite profound, man.

Look, this lady's bartering item is so obvious: white magic!

Do you know what these people barter? TEAM GROUP HUG,HUG AND HUG ALREADY!

Do you know what this dude offers? AWESOMENESS!

You knew this wasn't going to end easy, didn't you?

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Once someone told me that people with bad complexion are sexy.

I disagreed.

But now that I'm older and slightly wiser and more cougar-esq, I can see this dude's point. Bad skin can be sexy, if they are in their 20s or older.

It must have to do with their personality too, but I think the basic thing is confidence.

I am confident that I'm pretty crass-y;therefore, I can get away saying shit that's gnarly.

Yep, that's so true. Just like the fact that I speak like a little dude also helps my confidence in my crassness.

I am not ashamed to say that in grade 7 I had 32 pimples on my forehead and I know the number because I actually took my time to count them all.

This is not sexy in anyway though, the lady on the right, that's just bad:

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

I don't know if anyone reads this blog consistent enough, but I have been very lazy about it lately.

Anyway, if you do read this often, then you may recall one entry about how Mr.Peanut looks like the dude from that Swedish band, the Hives and Kevin Costner circa 80s.

You know who else look like him? The dude from Lonely Island. Especially from the movie, Hot Rod.

I have such a soft spot for comedy made by SNL dudes, such as Joe Dirt. I know, I am crass and I am not proud of it, but rather accepting of it.

Anyway, this movie, Hot Rod. The guy who is Kevin in the movie is so uncannily Mr.Peanut that it was bizzaro.

Like in this picture,

And this picture. In either one, he looks a lot like Mr.Peanut circa late 90s minus the high waisted pants.

Is this mean that Mr.Peanut is very generic looking that he can look like someone of Swedish origin to Jewish American??

Also, it was pointed out for the first time that I have strange drawl to my speech. Have you notice that?

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Mr.Peanut is known to say very profound things, such as "Coffee is like day time beer and beer is like night time coffee" however, I just discovered that he has a soft spot for America/Canada's next top model.

I guess it's equivalent to my obsession with Seinfeld but he likes Seifeld also. I don't dig top model. I think it kinda stinks.

I dig bewitched and I love Lucy, a lot.

People named Dick which I think is weird. How did Richard become Dick and how did Dick become associated with male genital?

It's deeper than you think.

Look what I found: someone custom made Penis shaped chandelier!