Thursday, April 30, 2009

I don't know about other people, but really, I am fascinated with toilet related information. I think it's quite important to be aware of what's coming out from you. It's often the first indication of illness.

So, I have noticed that when I drink a cup of coffee, the first pee after that smells kind of like coffee. And as many people already knows, when you eat asparagus, your pee smells really bad and Vitamin C pills makes your pee very very yellow.

It's fascinating, really. You may end up with nice smelly farts with right kind of combination.

And did you know that you can buy a urine test kit with fake penis in 10 different colours? If you are a stoner and you may have to take the pee test, don't fret! Buy this kit and you'll be just fine and dandy.

you can also purchase plush toy of poo and pee. I feel the world is finally ready to embrace their fascination with "down there" like I do!

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Do you remember the days when tribal tattoos are all the rage? Then, you must remember the ass tattoo on girls. It seemed so appealing when the ultra low-rise pants were in.

But in reality, I am not so sure. In my mind, it's rarely good, if not, down right harsh-beans.

Themes are usually:
1) Tribal


3) flower, stars and fancy dancy

You know what I'm talkin bout. I am not so proud to say that I have stars. I am not so proud but I ain't gonna do nothin bout that.

BUt I do respect this one:

Saturday, April 25, 2009

I have always wondered about "flip a bird" gesture.

Why is it so revolting?

Supposedly, it goes all the way back to the Roman time. This is one of the theory:

Giving someone "the finger" is one of the basest violations in modern culture, but its origins date back over 2500 years. The first written record of the insult occurred in ancient Greece, where the playwright Aristophanes (the Adam Sandler of his day) made a crude joke mixing up the middle finger and the penis. Even back then, the bird was considered an aggressive, phallic put-down.

It has been argued by anthropologists that the finger is a a variant of a classic "phallic aggressive" gesture used by primates. By jabbing a threatening phallus at your enemy like a wild animal, you aren't just belittling him, but also making him your sexual inferior. Instead of using a real penis, civilized Janes and Platos called upon the substitute wieners within their own hands to mock, threaten, and humiliate opponents.

Basically, things like this always goes back to "Wang" It always does. Anything bad.

Tomorrow, I will talk about my wonderment towards Ass Tattoos.

Friday, April 24, 2009

I caught a cold and I am dizzy. I was supposed to go camping tomorrow, but no dice.

Have you ever spun yourself sick on a chair?

I have. Not puked, but got sick.

So, I wanted to look for a picture titled closed to "the most beautiful runny nose in the world". There were non. Just goes to show you that even when Madonna has runny nose, it ain't pretty.

However, I found this. So genius.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

If you were to change your name, what would you be?

If I were 8, I want to be Rainbow.

Rainbow Brite to be exact. I wanted to ride dem pony.

I don't want to be Rainbow now. I am a-ok with my name.

I know I don't want to be Bif Naked, that's for sure.

I wouldn't mind being Mycroft Holmes.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

I believe in Fraggle Rocks.

I hear they are being turned into live action.

I hate you capitalistic world. What the hell is going to happen to that weird dog that's so friggin' huge by fraggle standard? And the giant? It's gonna be too creepy, you just know it.

You are breaking all the kids of the 80s hearts. That theme song gets me excited every time.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

today, I lost badly at a Crockett game.

today I discovered that many people don't like the word "gunt". I personally don't like the word "cunt"

This guy's last name is GUNT. But I am assuming that it is pronounced as "GEUNT" or some shit.

not "gaunt". I am kind of gaunt but only mildly so.

This character is apparently called the GAUNT. There is some gaunt-ness about this guy but I wonder what his super power is. Just being mean and lean at the same time?

English is confusing.

Friday, April 17, 2009

my eyes hurt. it's been hurting for 2 days now.

first the fart storm hit me,

then eye ball killer hit me.

maybe I'll be hit by bad hair day next.

Then, I am not sure. Maybe I will start eat meat again and wear muumuu and moonwalk everywhere.

I wanted to organize my wedding party to dance exactly like Thriller at my wedding. It was veto-ed by all. I still wish I did it.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Hey guys

I woke up at 20 past 5 today because Mr.Peanut got up. As I am blind as a bat, I just assumed it was time to get up. Only to realize 10 mins later that it is not 6 o'clock, but rather, 5. I had serious indigestion due to eating too much on early morning tummy. I had big tummy for rest of the day.

However, this may have to do with the fact that I have been eating the same black bean soup for like 3 meals. Can I say, I am gassy? I mean, really, I've been the fart factory all day.

this picture is titled "wet suit fart" it's awesome it blows my mind

BTW Do you know what is the most effective way to diverse stinky fart?

A. By hopping side ways like a crab and hitting your bum.

It is all true! We japanese know eeeeeverything

Sunday, April 12, 2009

All of me

I am not sure if I am the only person on this earth who gets really pissed at restaurants. Don't get me wrong, I am generally very relaxed urban hippy in attitude (sans petuli), but when I'm hungry, and the food you order take like an hour and half to come out, I get really critical and sarcastic.

But maybe that's what Hulk feels when he ends up ripping his clothes every time he's upset and starts freaking out.

Me with content stomach

Me with no food in my stomach

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Do you like cheese? I like cheese. Depends on what cheese, but I like cheese, a lot. It gives me terrible burping problem sometimes, but I like cheese a lot.

I know I wrote about this before, but I think the Dairy Farmers of Canada has new ad where a kid is not eating whatever is on their plate ( mostlikely vegetable ) then all of the sudden, a boy ( in the newest version a juggler man ) made out of cheese appears!

It is amazing.

On the other hand, the deodorant, AXE, has this commercial involving a dude turned into a chocolate dude, now that shit is whack, yo.

I am assuming that Dairy Farmers of Canada ad is not as popular as AXE commercial. What a bummer.

I just like to say that I like cheese and chocolate but I don't like pizzas or chocolate bar that much. In fact, I don't think I can eat a whole slice of pizza without having harsh indigestion.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

IF you are my blog's avid reader, then you know I have issues with certain clothing style. If I could dictate a city, I would definitely ban certain styles that I find not pleasing to my little eyes.

I decided to add 2 more

1)Legging as pants
You know what? No one cares about your saggy bum bum nor young camel toe-d cooch. Unless you know how to run, at least cover your crotch with longer shirt or with shorts.

2)Surf shorts worn as regular shorts
Dude, is your name Jeff Spicoli? Do you know how to actually ride a surf board, not your ass mountain bike? As comfortable as it maybe to you, we do not care to see a swimming shorts in day to day basis. Might as well wear speedos.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

my peanut looks a lot like the singer from the Hives, as well as Kevin Costner circa 80s.

I don't particularly look like anyone but occasionally, I look like this.

Friday, April 3, 2009

sometimes, I wonder what it feels like to have hair like cousin "Itt" from the Addams Family.

sometimes, i think my hair looks awesome.

sometimes, i think my hair smells really bad, like camp fire.

sometimes, i really hate seeing dandruff on other people because it paranoids me to no ends.

I really enjoy smelling people's hair ( I only like to smell those who I know real well. I mean, I don't go around smelling just any bum or nothin' )

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

robot dance

Some people are always striving to be certain way (ie: Octomom or whatever she is called. She is creepy. And that lady who tried to change herself into a cat and other lady who had gazillion of surgery to look like barbie)

Some find Britney Spears hot, Jessica Simpson hot Angelina Jolie hot.

Me? I think Shelly Duval is the shit.

I am built to wear and live in the 60s.

Peace, Love, and all the hippy shenanigans. Let us just meditate and listen to the 13th floor elevator in peace, maaan.

Obviously, I am super tired and hungry and grumpy and inpatient.