All Seeing Ai

2010-05-26T20:11:00.000-07:00

Why is it that you automatically look at your tissue after you blow your nose?

C'mon, don't deny it. I know you do it too.

I also know that you have peed in the shower at least once too.

I think a lot of people also check out their ear wax after cleaning their ears.

I wonder if this has anything to do with our instinct to make sure that we are healthy?

Someone recently told me that humans started to french kiss to check on each other's oral health.

We aren't as sophisticated as we think we are. Might as well go on picking our noses during power point presentation at our work.

2010-04-23T15:18:00.000-07:00

Do you remember your dream when you were 20?

I know I wanted to be Jackie Chan when I was about 5 or 6, then I wanted to be Prima Donna, then I wanted to be a vet. Then, I wanted to own a sock shop.

Eventually, I hit "as an artist, I think you understand" stage around grade 12 and wanted to be one. This also lead to me wanting to live in RV and travel around the continent. Only contacting people when I felt like making a movie.

I don't know when this fascination came about, but I believe it all started from a RV catalogue that my father presented when I was grade 3.

To this day, I have a soft spot for winnebagos and air streamers. I wonder if that's why I never live in one home longer than a year and a half at a time...

This is most likely my future:

2010-04-17T09:15:00.000-07:00

I was talking to a friend yesterday about watching horror flicks as a child.

My first ever memory of horror film is the last scene from "Evil Dead". I think I saw this when I was 5 or 6, right after attending a birthday party. As you can see, I had very free-thinking parents who never censored anything.

Was there a scene like this in the film?? I don't recall.

The next one I remember is "Alien" when I was 8. I think I saw it during summer break. I remember being scared as well as being shocked by Sigourney Weaver hanging out in her tiny bikini underpants.

Who knew underpants could be so small when you were 8?

Then it came the Zombie movie called " The return of the living dead" which wasn't as bad as the first two.

I think if my parents were not so free-thinking and only allowed me to watch movies such as "Bambi" or "Lion King", I would not be as obsessed with Anatomical models nor would I be jaded today.

Although, thank you for making me appreciate such B-level cult movies.

Thank you papa for being obsessed with American pop culture.

P.S. I just noticed that these zombie flicks movie posters really do not reflect what the movies are about.

2010-04-16T08:05:00.000-07:00

I'm still alive!

It's just I have short "blog" attention-span problem. I don't really care to share everything I think about, I suppose. Life if far more interesting than putting funny things on the web, you know? If I slack off once again, just nag me. I will surrender and get back on track.

Anyway, first post in 2 month (apparently) is about trepanation. Do you know what it is? Have you ever seen that intense movie, "Pi"?

It's a procedure to release pressure or heavy blood flow from your brain by drilling a hole in your skull. It's totally fucked, right?

I think first time I've ever even seen or heard about this procedure was, in SPIN magazine. ( I used to be hip once, back in the late 90s to early 2000 )

I don't know what, but I have very strong attraction to anatomy and physiology. Especially brain function. So this Trepanation business naturally interests me so. What I don't understand is that there are people out there who actually would perform it upon themselves because they believe it will "expand their horizon".

Weird.

But some money savvy person have already cashed in on this topic by doing this: A twist on Operation!

I would have put the picture of Trepanation, but to protect sensitive souls out there, I self-sesored. Instead, enjoy this picture which is still creepy:

Why does this man ever appealed to little children?

2010-02-17T18:09:00.000-08:00

My dream house:

I would love to be a hobbit sans hairy gigantic feet and live in crazy stone carved home. It's way more practical than geodesic hippy shit. Granted it looks cooler.

Did you know that kids who eat their booger tends to not get sick than city kids who are overly protected?

2010-02-14T11:06:00.000-08:00

I've been very lazy.

Have you ever had the chance to read this newspaper while it was around???

IF you do believe anything on this magazine, you should live in a house like this one.

2010-02-01T19:37:00.000-08:00

My dream usually contains post-apocalyptic, Isaac Asimov type of future. I also have a thing for post-apocalyptic movie. I am sure these two things are correlated. However, my dream is always a mixture of what I know as present as well as weird futuristic scene.

Yesterday, my ex-coworker accidently started fire in futuristic high rise. When we were evacuating, the futuristic building became more of old school building.

This makes me think of my relationship with so called chick flicks.

I hate anything cheez. I could not go on watching x-files after season 4 plus the movie. I could not go on watching Battlestar Galactica after 2nd season for it's theme became too much to handle.

When my friends went out to watch "Bride Wars", I secretly wanted to watch "Mall Cop".

My dream as 5 years old person was to become Jackie Chan.

I didn't always hate cheeze. I have seen "10 things I hate about you" in theatre. What has become of innocent and dreaming me to wrinkly pissy old lady me? It seems like my tolerance for cheeze goes down with my age. Can't imagine what I would be like when I'm 64.

I would like to be prettier than this:

Probably more like this:

I would like to be like this, but probably not:

This is really the ultimate:

2010-01-31T17:39:00.000-08:00

My dreams have been way too exciting to deal with. They generally contains car chases, murder plots and capitalism ideas. It must reflect how boring the real life has been.

Anyways, have you ever taken transit for any length of time? I have been the rider of transit since 5 or so. I used to take a train by myself to go to my kindergarten because my mom won't be ready on time. I remember having to pretend that I was not taking the train by myself by sort of being a part of a group, but not really.

Anyway, if you do take transit at similar time every day, you eventually develop your transit buddy. My buddy is a girl with lots of tattoos, facial piercing and weird colour hair. She has this particular tattoo on her right hand, which is a real shitty tribal phoenix of some sort. One segment of the tail goes all the way down her index finger. She also has "13" tattooed towards her thumb. Just to clarify, she looks maybe 23 at top.

We walk most of the way to work together ( in my mind ). I am very curious to know where she works and what made her decide to want that hand tattoo. Was she in a goth gang or something? Or maybe she didn't look so punk-goth-esq and this is a new development.

She doesn't give a shit about priority seating neither, so she sits wherever she pleases.

Oh fountain of youth.

At least she doesn't have this. Apparently, this girl fell asleep during her tattoo session, and her tattooist did this to her? I am vague about the actual facts, but you know, it's funked nonetheless.

You gotta really love the Kennedy's . Viva JFK!

This is highly questionable in my opinion. No children will ever come near you.

2010-01-27T19:42:00.001-08:00

Today's dream had school setting, involving 2 of my high school friends who shall remain nameless involved in no good.

I think I was trying to prevent them from being bad. I think it may had something to do with torture-esq activity.

Mr.Peanut overheard a conversation at Saigon Night tonight. Peops behind him were talking about junkies naming their kids shitty name, literally.

The dude was telling his lady about this junkie who named his kid "Shithead", but really, he meant to name the kid "Shitty". He was too high to remember the name or something like that.

Is that totes allowed legally?

I always had weird fixation with name "Egg", but I got over it. It's like wanting to get smurf tattoo. I just discovered what's his name has smurf tattoo. I wonder how high he was when he decided it was such a good idea?

I got over it.

I have rad craft idea right now. I hope I can persevere and get it done. I want to become get it done person again.

2010-01-25T19:15:00.000-08:00

Do you consider yourself to be patient?

I used to until like one hour ago. Then, the truth donned on me: I am mediocre patient.

If I were to describe my personality using the tale of Tortoise and rabbit, I would usually choose Tortoise. But no more.

This tendency has become evident when I crocheted a toque yesterday.

What a freedom!

Viva small projects!

Good bye long repetitive projects and hello small nicknacks!

I am sure I am still capable of large projects, but I don't know if I can go back that easily. Maybe if the project were kind of like Frankenstein, that's totally possible.

Do:

Don't:

Maybe:

2010-01-24T19:08:00.000-08:00

I have never eaten York.

I have never eaten Big Turk.

I have never eaten Three Marketeer.

I do love Wonderbar. I do love Milky Way.

The chocolate bar that blew my mind may be Toblarone ( I do not know how to spell that ) but I don't know if they are considered chocolate bar.

Now that I think about it, I am not sure I have ever eaten something so delicious that it blew my mind. Maybe "Mexican Surprise".

Although I am not positive that I can digest that monster now that I hit the big 3-0.

I really like Rum Raisin ice cream. Although I do not consume cold thing often. I like my beverages to be luke warm.

I find it interesting that as much as I love eating, I have never been so impressed by food before.

Perhaps, I need to find my inner Julia Child.

2010-01-21T16:07:00.000-08:00

I don't know why but when my dream involves cars, I am always terrible at parking. It's reflecting my real life little too real for my liking.

I repent all the white sugars I've been wanting and eating. I am sorry, hippy god. I shall repent. I shall repent. I shall repent.

If someone gave me this look when they are saying "sorry", I am not sure if I can be generous and forgive them. I might cry.

P.S. I like dogs.

2010-01-19T20:22:00.000-08:00

Again, I forgot to will myself to remember my dreams.

I don't know about you, but I really don't like to cut any flowers for some reasons.

I will do it if it's necessary, but I have real hard time breaking branches and cutting flowers.

I also have issues with pets being mistreated and eating meat or anything that comes from too far away.

I just thought I will put it out there, so you know I'm not so crusty and crass after all.

I am a gentle soul, with flower crown around my head, who prefers quite warm room temperature so I can keep my serene outlook in life.

Before you knew who I was:

After you found out the real me:

Even if I am mean to you outside, this is what I feel inside. All fantasy all the time:

2010-01-18T19:08:00.001-08:00

I woke up sometime around 4:30 am this morning because heat vent was making noise. At that moment, I willed myself so hard to remember my dream.

Unfortunately, all I remember is that there were 4 goats. 2 of them had only 3 legs. the 4th one was just a stump. Although they could produce milk from their horns. I am not sure if goats have any kind of antler-esq thing coming out of their head, but this one had one.

My friend's daughter was drinking goat's milk out of it.

I really should have written it down while eating breakfast. Damn.

Did you know that Adolf Hitler considered number 7 to be the most magical number? I sure didn't.

Have you ever heard of a book called "Michelle remembers?" Do you know where her house used to be? I heard it was somewhere in Gordon Head.

Victoria is the satanic capital of the island. I don't know the credibility of this claim, but it's better than Nanaimo, heroin capital of the island, as well as the google earth capital.

Norwegian death metal dudes are fucking scary.

This guy is just ridiculous.

2010-01-17T10:27:00.000-08:00

Last night's dream consisted of:
1) my grandmother's money making scheme involving child labour. ( Her scheme was baking sweets in school cafeteria like setting. Very industrial)
2) cast of Seinfeld. Something to do with Elaine's cat and Kramer having to go rescue it from a window ledge.
Shit, I can't remember the rest.

Hoochie Mama:A female who dresses ghetto ho fabulous. Lots of gold, lots of weave-typically Pattie LaBelle style with red, purple, gold, or orange streaks, and long nails with lots of airbrush glitter, and color. This female's goal in life is to use her female attriibutes to obtain a male with lots of money or any money to spend on her. Weaves, rent, & diapers for her baby from another daddy included. 2. A ghetto version of a "Gold Digger".

Snob:someone who adopts the worldview of snobbery — that some people are inherently inferior to him or her for any one of a variety of reasons, including real or supposed intellect, wealth, education, ancestry, etc. Often, the form of snobbery reflects the snob's personal attributes.

My future:

2010-01-13T18:08:00.000-08:00

This morning, I could not remember my dream, then I thought 'well, I didn't try to remember my dream in my dream today.'

I do know that it was somewhat of a treasure hunt theme. It was me and 3 other dudes that I do not know. It involved a whole town so each of us had to drive to get to places. I think it was more like a man-hunt than treasure hunt.

All I remember clearly is that I could not park very well in my dream just like in real life. The only time I parked like a pro is when I was practicing for the license.

Now that I think about it, it feels like a dream.

I was browsing through "this is why you're fat" site today. Some of the things make sense, but a lot of food on there doesn't even sound appetizing to my neo-hippy tongue. But maybe if I tried it, I may like it.

If you find this appetizing, I don't know if we are friends any longer.

I discovered Thrifty's brand of coke today. It is called "Freedom Cola" in french, it is Cola Liberte.

Immature me thinks this is funny, We should just put the word Freedom on everything to make this world a better place .

Corey Heim was a dreamboat

2010-01-11T18:14:00.001-08:00

Hello there,

While I was away from this thing, these are the things that happened to me:
1) I discovered joy of lol cats once more.
2) My bangs were not the way I thought I cut them,so I had to fix them.
3) Not drinking enough water.
4) Keep having weird dreams.

I have not perfected not remembered to practice my lucid dreaming skill in a while, I have continued to dream weird shit. So weird that I was hesitant to blog about it. There were few words of encouragement, so here I go.

1st dream:
I dreamed about group of Nazi fanatics who had a troop of walking corpses. These zombies were in fact women who were raped and murdered by Nazis and they were wrapped around in white sheets. I was trying rescue them from the Nazis.

2nd dream:
I dreamed that I was in a office, kinda like the tv sitcom office. Except I knew this did no take place in current time, but rather, in a future. Unfortunately, I forgot the most exciting part about it.

3rd dream:
I was trying to organize a menage-trois involving 11 British people. I was haggling with a motel to rent us a room and I got them to rent out 2 rooms for 11 people. I was trying to calm the group down by saying " I don't think it's against the rule to split the group in 2, guys". Obviously, I was trying to organize this thing for some competition.

Only, after I woke up, I realized the logistics of this does not work at all. Maybe I was trying to unleash 5 to 6 people per room to see what happens next.

Don't judge me just because I dream about rescuing zombies from Nazis or organizing menage-trois. It's just a dream.

Wise Frasier Crane once said, "Have a good mental day". I don't know what to do with the tossed salad and scrambled eggs. I had no idea Kelsey Grammer sang that lame song.

I wonder what I'm going to dream about today?

Look, I found Lucid dreaming machine! Literally, there is a machine for everything. I am sure there exists a bum wiping machine, even!

2010-01-06T17:36:00.000-08:00

Do you want to know how to throw a party in your mouth?

Just use Listerine undiluted for 20 seconds. If you can hold off for 20 seconds, you had just about everyone from Andrew W.K to Jay-Z parrrty hard in your mouth.

I don't even know what the hell is in it, but is it even legal to make something that powerful?

I still have mushy nose and no, I don't remember what I dreamed about today.

P.S. Have you ever felt like your body hair seems thicker in the winter time? Do you think humans get winter fur just like animals do?

I prefer Arm and Hammer toothpaste and Tom's natural mouthwash because I'm a mushy idealistic urbanized hippy.

I also have a soft spot for kittens and flowers. No, I'm not always bitchy.

I like to party, occasionally in my head.

2010-01-05T11:35:00.000-08:00

i got face cold. My face feels mushy. Therefore, I am not going to work. I have that option, which is like the only sweet thing about my work. (beside being everyone's gal friday -> not so sweet and not relevant)

I dreamed about alien visitation today. She looked like a character from that movie, Akira. You know, really wrinkly psychic children? Except this alien was wearing so much white powder on her face that it was flaking onto her hair as well.

It's too nerdy to talk about it, but if you have ever seen or read Akira, there is a character who is praying for Akira's re-birth in the movie, and in the comic books, she is No.16 I think. She has huge onion hair, so you can't miss her. That's what my alien looked like.

This picture is the closest thing. Sorry about the size:

Her name was Lynne B Free, apparently. Free comes from the fact that she is not a slave anymore. (So wherever she's from, they practice slavery)

She came on very translucent old-school saucer. There was more that happened, but I don't remember.

I need super powerful vacuum to suck my snot out of my nose. No joke.

2010-01-04T18:43:00.000-08:00

I think I might be tired of working. I know, that sounds really lame but it may just be true, a little.

Or, I just want to have some excuse as to why I play solitaire on my ipod non stop for like total of 2 hours everyday.

Here, I said it. I am OBSESSED with playing solitaire. It gives me a comfort of some sorts even if I may be ignoring mr.peanut's sad gaze.

Anyway, when I'm playing my game, I am only paying attention to other things in very peripheral sense.

That maybe why I blurted out "He used to be a puppet" out of nowhere.

Or it maybe that Jim Hansen's spirit came down to me.

One way or the other, I am known to talk random shit that is not relative to what's happening around me.

I think I had very graphic gory dream. I know at one point, I had leukemia. It must have been quite gory, because even if I remembered my dream in more detail, I will be hesitant to write about it.

Here is the picture of the day. I was looking under "obsessed" and what do I see? Hideous Buffy the Vampire slayer tattoo. I don't know what to think of it. Can you blame the tattoo artist for being terrible at portraits? Or is this a work of genius? I can only see any resemblance in Willow, but even that's really pushing it.

I found another one. I have never had the opportunity to taste this product yet.

I won't even bother putting it on here, but there are people out there who got Twilight themed tattoos. Google it yourself.

2010-01-03T12:03:00.000-08:00

Here I am, once again, updating this thing. I figure I gotta stick to what I said at least for a while.

Today's dream involved time traveling and boating around.

First part - It had something to do with time traveling. I was in Vancouver, but I knew it was not the era I was supposed to be in. I was with mr.peanut, but we were not supposed to time travel together or something, so we had to do this separately. But I think I had to make sure that he will do it at the right time or something.

Second part - I had to get to Salt Spring on a boat. Next thing I remember is me being a part of a group that was trekking to Salt Spring. There were many eager sporty type with crocs on.

Yesterday, I noticed that mr.peanut has feet which are meant to wear flip flops as formal wear. I have super futuristic feet, which are meant for gliding the air instead of walking, or running all the friggin' time.

I don't know which is better. You should take care of them arches.

When I was looking up "the world's ugliest feet", these are the images I came across:

Ugliest cat

Ugliest dog - way gnarlier than the ugliest kitten. Seriously.

The actual ugly feet pictures were ubrer nasty even for my standard, so this is from Star Trek 6, I think.

twentyten

2010-01-02T10:20:00.000-08:00

Hey dudes,

It's finally the tens.

I will commit myself to doing this blog more real for real.

I was torn between making Castenada-esq dream diary or just regular bullshitting. I think I will be doing both.

Today's dream took place in very industrial looking box of a school classroom. It must have been an ESL class. People were speaking in English and Japanese (this happens often). Students were being smart ass and I was being a meany teacher.

Everything had very grey tone.

Yesterday, I discussed with mr.peanut what kind of skin the gray aliens would have.

He thought it would be rough. I imagine it would feel like frog, but patted dry. (basically super smooth and supple)

According to this picture, mr.peanut may be right.

There are many places I would like to visit. Machupichu being prime example and Finland being the other. However, if I could every get an access to, I would love to check out Area 51 (X-file theme song should be playing right now)

Scully is the original hot lady in glasses.

Yep, I am into conspiracy theory.

I must tell you about the Denver Airport one of these days.

2009-10-28T17:57:00.001-07:00

Do you like chewing gum?

I love chewing gum. I have always liked chewing gum. I think I inherited my love for chewing from Jeffrey, my father. My bro and I both like chewing gum a lot.

When I was a little girl, I would fall asleep in our car while chewing gum, and it would stick to my long hair. It took me 3 bad bangs to really stop doing that, or more bad hair cut.

As you may have noticed, I am also pretty into conspiracy theory.

I think sugar company has something going on. As a good hardcore/artsy teenager, I used to go through old National Geographic magazine and tear out weird pictures. I then noticed that there were strange ad about Sugar being great appetite suppressor or if sugar is so bad for you, why aren't the kids fat already.

So when I was looking at ingredient in gums I noticed literally all the brand had aspartame in it. Believe it or not, even something like Hubba Bubba has aspartame in it.

Ever since I made this discovery, my life has been a bitch. Only gum without it came from Finland. Other one being this natural gum or some hippy crap that sticks to your teeth like there is no tomorrow.

I guess I will never have gum stuck in my hair ever again.

This is just to make me feel better:

This is to make you feel gross:

This is how I feel when I chew gum:

This is how I feel when I don't chew gum:

Or, like this:

2009-10-25T16:54:00.000-07:00

I've been lazy again. It's going to be like this since I have hard time holding my attention to any one thing for long period of time. But people have giving me enough side jabs to get me going once more.

All you have to do is nag. Then, I will do it.

Anyway, as you know, I am from land of wonder. We are proud producer of: UNIQLO brand, chopstick and great pastries to list a few.

We are also known for random invention. All you have to do is re-read my old entry about Dr.Nakamatsu, the inventor of lots of things pointless.

I love looking at useless inventions that people put a lot of money into to get it paten approved. Don't you feel the love in it?

Anyway, I used to know this twin, who claimed that when they were a little girl, they submitted butter in the shape of chapstick for children's invention contest. They did not win at the time, however, some asshole actually got paten for the butter stick later on.

When I was looking up "Chindogu-bizzar invention", I came up with series of useless shit.

All you have to do is really look at these photos and feeeeeel the loooove.

Do not fret though, you North Americans also made pretty useless shit:

OK, fine, it's not as insane as my people. All I have to say is that we are as hard working as slave ants or bees. SO much so that we need to sleep on the way to and back from work and this is so useful when you do that:

2009-09-16T19:47:00.000-07:00

I used to make fun of Star Trek. Ok, not as far as make fun of, but rather, I just didn't understand the hype. But now, I am addicted to Next Generation. I totally have developed crush on Data and his pasty skin.

What gets me the most is his mannerism. Being a humanoid cyborg, he has very peculiar expression and such, but now that he has emotion chip, he's all good to go.

This picture sums it up for me:

I always develop crush on such strange characters. It must have started from Sherlock Holmes in grade 5. I just never went for the main stream. Other weird one being Corey Feldman. Corey Heim was way better looking but I was one solid Feldman fan.

Whatever happened to the other Frog brother?

It's a mystery why I didn't develop anything towards Doogie Howser. Probably because the concept wasn't all that appealing. There was nothing wrong with him besides the fact that he is a baby genius and that's not that special.

Look at his buddy's ears though, it's huge!

Talk about going for the "wrong guy"

2009-09-14T19:14:00.000-07:00

Beetlejuice is brilliant.

Winona Ryder is so awesome as a goth girl. Where are the tasteful goth these days? What's up with the stripy socks associated with goth? Isn't it more like wicked witch of the west style?

Winona Ryder ruled in the 80s. Things went down from Reality bites. Why did we think it was such an awesome movie? She kind of looks bad in that one.

On the other hand, Heathers RULES. More like, Monocle on high school student is radical!

You may have hard time telling that I am dead tired from reading this blog, but really, I am tired.

The best monocle wearing creature in the world:

Did you know that Mr.Peanut run for Mayor in 70s Vancouver? It's all true!

2009-09-13T16:11:00.000-07:00

How do you feel about zits?

Do you pop them once they are ripe or do you let them go? On the same note, how do you deal with black heads?

I am pretty into popping em. Mr.Peanut is quite against popping but I am very into it. It is so satisfying.

Like right now, I am nursing pretty ripe zit on my forehead and I am so tempted to pop it. Mr.Peanut will be very unhappy if I do that, so I won't.

It all started when I popped Mr.Peanut's black head on his face couple of years ago. It was by his mouth and it was he, who asked me to pop it.

Only, it didn't work so good and it got infected and became hideous. To the point that people purposefully avoided mentioning the hideous zit.

He had to go to a walk-in clinic to cut the zit open and then it went away.

But I am still into popping zits.

Do you guys remember, My so called life? Don't lie, I know you used to watch the show religiously just like I did. Anyway, do you remember this ad that plays when you are watching the show. all about acnes and pimples?

"People think I eat a lot of chocolate bars, but the truth is, I don't..." It was told by a boy with an accent. Was he supposed to be Quebecois?

This is such seminal commercial. Since I don't know how to update youtube video, you have to look at this link and see the commercial for yourself.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6T2olgjnDWY

2009-09-08T18:24:00.000-07:00

I love diner even if they are not vegetarian friendly. I love those haggered professional waitresses with smokey voice. I just do. It must go back to when I was growing up, how my dad had grungy diner food and against my mother's protest, he will take us to dirty diner with amazing food.
The waitress must be tired of life, but full of punches. Cannot look like this:

On totally different topic, do you know anything about wall hangy thing from around the world? As in it's usually a face of ethnic person, such as an Arab, Native American, etc. What the hell is that? It's like nightmare wall. They are usually at your grandparent's house or persian people's house. Not to stereotype here in anyway though.

I don't even know how to search for the picture! I only found this. I think this really does tell you how scary they are. Very grim. All business and no fun at all!

And I think this company is responsible for producing such crazy concept?
http://www.legendproducts.co.uk/index.html

2009-09-05T09:42:00.000-07:00

I am highly affected by how things feel on my hands and what things smell like.

I was wondering how does it feel to touch Jabba the hut, or Mutant Ninja Turtles?

Are they kind of, slimy? Or are they dry to the touch, kind of like dried up earth?

I once had bold spot and as much as it weirded me out, it had very smooth texture to it ( I guess because there was no hair there)

I imagine it feels close to touching those hairless kittens.

Although, nothing like reptiles creep me out. I absolutely detest touching them, little frogs excluded.

But some part of me want to touch iguana.

And I really hate the smell of BBQ chicken!

Creepy!

2009-09-02T19:02:00.000-07:00

I heard this at work yesterday: Yao Ming is huge because the Chinese government made two really tall people to marry.

I read this on newspaper today: New Japanese first lady says her soul has travelled out of her body to space 20 years ago.

I love conspiracy theory. I always have loved them. It tickles my nerd points just too perfectly.

I am curious to know what happens to our people's first lady though. Is she going to act all looney and shit?

Our people are known for many things, including being into ghost experiences and UFOs.

Are your people?

Here are some examples:

This particular one lives in a river. His favourite food is cucumber and his favourite activity is to scare boys and take their balls away. True story.

2009-08-31T19:38:00.000-07:00

Who would you rather be friend with, Ernie or Bert?

It's a tough choice because both of them don't look anything like a person you know and Bert's face shape is like a shallot, and his coloring is like curry powder.

Where as Ernie is little more easy to take in, but he has affinity for rubber duckies despite the fact that he can live on his own.

It's kind of like asking would you like to be friend with Tintin despite the fact he gets into serious life threatening danger all the time? He also gets hit in the head too many times that you would have to live with the fact that he may fall down with seizure any minute.

Do you know who I can be friend with hands down?

This guy:

Nerdy, but genius

2009-08-30T17:02:00.000-07:00

It's been a long ass time since I last posted. I just kind of got lazier and lazier. After all, I am human and I do run out of things to talk about.

Although, technically, that is not true since my mind is always wondering and thinking about "stuff".

Today, I would like to talk about my childhood.

Since I did not grow up in North America, naturally, things I watched on TV and things I read as a lassie are very different from what you folks know.

For example, I strongly believed that Smurfs were blue cheese fairies. I grew up watching lots of anime that you folks will not be able to relate to unless you are one of those people who are really into that kind of stuff.

Although, I did watch Inspector Gadget, Mutant Ninja Turtles, Rainbow Brite and Little house on big prairie, as a little girl.

Anyway, so to reference what I knew as a child is very difficult. This is such a disadvantage when I'm playing Trivial Pursuit. I love that shit but because I wasn't here before mid 90s, I don't know anything. It sucks, sucks real bad.

Although, the other day, I discovered that my friend's husband and I knew the same thing: Barbapapa.

I don't know if you know, but we Japanese people have real fondness for anything French. We love baguette, beret, scarf around our neck and French kids books.

Barbapapa was about a family of shape shifters. It's pretty awesome since they are bunch of blobs, really.

"Clickety click- Barba Trick!"

These bunch of blobs used to fascinate me as a child. You should look em up. It's pretty weird.

The largest pink blob is the Barbapapa.

And this is where they reside and this isn't the whole thing. Note that one of the kid can change herself into a harp.

I guess they made lots of things Barbapapa. This is totally not cool in many ways. It kind of disturbing in so many ways.

Have a blob day to you.

2009-07-25T08:03:00.000-07:00

Davis Sedaris once wrote about his sister, who was "tannorexic". Basically, someone who gets obsessed with tanning during the summer time and goes extra mile to get brown.

I actually know of someone like this.

Anyway, I have been starting to get wicked watch and bracelet tan. I would like to cultivate that. I'm pretty into watch tan.

Look what I found:

Gross and hurtin'

Typical:

Usual LoL cat style:

2009-07-23T22:04:00.000-07:00

I am 30, going on more like 39 or 40 in my mind, and 21 or 22 physically.

As I was putting on my array of plastic bows and flower barrettes in my hair, I realized that without acknowledging to myself, I am turning into Courtney Love, circa 93.

Not that whole Kinder Whore look, but certain aspects of it. I am not sure if I should be comforted by the fact that I am going to look young as a 60 year old lady or questioning myself like, how long I'm going to wear barrettes and shit. I stopped for a long time because I was too cool, then recently, it started all over again.

If you can imagine Kramer's spazziness in action, Jay and silent Bob's Jay and Jeff Spicoli in speech, and sort of like Courtney Love, crossed with Jerry Garcia in fashion, you get the idea.

No, it's not confusing at all, you just have to think about it long enough. It will come to you.

I would aspire to be like this lady, only I will be chewing gum, not cigar.

2009-07-20T18:42:00.000-07:00

Maybe it's because I watch too much Seinfeld, but sometimes I catch myself moving like Kramer. I caught Mr.Peanut doing the "Robot" yesterday. He informed me that he does very good impersonation of "Robocop" at work. I kind of want to see that, but maybe not.

I am a spazz in my movement, and a mellow dude in my temper. If I were to be an ice cream bar, I would be melona. Not that I like ice cream. By the way, only place that I know you can taste Melona is by the Odeon, that Korean kiosk.

This came up when I was looking up "spazz" yewwww.

I don't like things to be cold. I prefer "tepid". I only eat ice cream handful times a year. Here is a great example of my liking for luke-warm: I drink pop luke-warm.

Have you ever had Dr.Skipper from Safeway? I used to be into those when I was 19. This is obviously back in the day when I could handle drinking a whole can of pop and eat a whole bag of chips and salsa and feel awesome.

Anyway, my roommate and I used to get Dr.Skipper in case. We used to fight about whether to keep them out of the fridge or in the fridge. I fought for out for an obvious reason. I don't know why we couldn't just keep them separate and agree.

Now, I probably drink pop, like 3 times a year. It makes me insane.

2009-07-16T21:46:00.001-07:00

Tonight, the talk of heavy footed up stair neighbor came up as a topic. There exists "the thumper" in every apartment block. I cannot fully get mad at these people because I do walk little funny myself. I do not wear heels in the house though, that's for hos and bitches.

Not that I can see myself walking so I cannot be absolutely sure, but apparently my ass shakes a lot but my upper torso stays still. I have been told that my father and my brother also walks the same. I have never noticed anything but it could be because I also walk like that. I am not "the thumper" but rather, "the ass swag". Mmm, that sounds bad.

It's not the sexy kind of "ass swag" it's bizzarro kind of "ass swag". Just watch me walk sometime.

I think this is the kind of shoes I should wear to get rid of my swag:

This mother is bouncy. Very, very bouncy;therefore, you won't notice my swag.

This dude invented it:

Supposedly, he has 600 patens in Japan alone.

See, sometimes reading my blog can teach you new things!

2009-07-13T18:28:00.000-07:00

You know Flintstones, the TV show. This is assuming that you know what I'm talking about.

You know, in Flintstones, they carry ridiculous stone currency and whatnot?

I think barter system should make its comeback. Barter in, green buck out. It would make so much more sense.

I guess we can keep the paper money and coins, but most of the things should be barter system. I would be uber wealthy right now if things worked this way.

This maybe very hippy of me, but I think it would be much better world.

Wow, this entry is actually quite profound, man.

Look, this lady's bartering item is so obvious: white magic!

Do you know what these people barter? TEAM GROUP HUG,HUG AND HUG ALREADY!

Do you know what this dude offers? AWESOMENESS!

You knew this wasn't going to end easy, didn't you?

2009-07-12T17:39:00.000-07:00

Once someone told me that people with bad complexion are sexy.

I disagreed.

But now that I'm older and slightly wiser and more cougar-esq, I can see this dude's point. Bad skin can be sexy, if they are in their 20s or older.

It must have to do with their personality too, but I think the basic thing is confidence.

I am confident that I'm pretty crass-y;therefore, I can get away saying shit that's gnarly.

Yep, that's so true. Just like the fact that I speak like a little dude also helps my confidence in my crassness.

I am not ashamed to say that in grade 7 I had 32 pimples on my forehead and I know the number because I actually took my time to count them all.

This is not sexy in anyway though, the lady on the right, that's just bad:

2009-07-08T19:54:00.000-07:00

I don't know if anyone reads this blog consistent enough, but I have been very lazy about it lately.

Anyway, if you do read this often, then you may recall one entry about how Mr.Peanut looks like the dude from that Swedish band, the Hives and Kevin Costner circa 80s.

You know who else look like him? The dude from Lonely Island. Especially from the movie, Hot Rod.

I have such a soft spot for comedy made by SNL dudes, such as Joe Dirt. I know, I am crass and I am not proud of it, but rather accepting of it.

Anyway, this movie, Hot Rod. The guy who is Kevin in the movie is so uncannily Mr.Peanut that it was bizzaro.

Like in this picture,

And this picture. In either one, he looks a lot like Mr.Peanut circa late 90s minus the high waisted pants.

Is this mean that Mr.Peanut is very generic looking that he can look like someone of Swedish origin to Jewish American??

Also, it was pointed out for the first time that I have strange drawl to my speech. Have you notice that?

2009-07-01T20:07:00.001-07:00

Mr.Peanut is known to say very profound things, such as "Coffee is like day time beer and beer is like night time coffee" however, I just discovered that he has a soft spot for America/Canada's next top model.

I guess it's equivalent to my obsession with Seinfeld but he likes Seifeld also. I don't dig top model. I think it kinda stinks.

I dig bewitched and I love Lucy, a lot.

People named Dick which I think is weird. How did Richard become Dick and how did Dick become associated with male genital?

It's deeper than you think.

Look what I found: someone custom made Penis shaped chandelier!

2009-06-24T20:18:00.000-07:00

Today, I was laughed at by my boss as I was coming into work. I am not sure why. Today, I was asked where I get my clothes. But I believe this was a compliment. Because he told me that my fashion sense is eclectic at best and somehow I pull it together.

If this wasn't a good thing, then I don't think I have anything to look forward to because to me, every day is "dress-up" day.

I also have very large attitude for a person of small stature and I am OK with that.

Fuck you, authority and hello Cheech and Chong.

I just notice that Mr.Peanut has cookie crumbs on his upper lip. He told me I was terrible for writing that up. Heh.

2009-06-21T19:59:00.000-07:00

You know, there is one thing I always wondered about. OK, this statement is not true at all, considering I am full of questions most of the time. So technically, it came to me recently:

who do you think picks up guide dog's poopoo? Or are they trained to only poopoo and peepee at their own home? Even then, how should a blind person clean up when they can't see?

Do they leave poopoo lying around everywhere? I think they should be like the horse carriage, and they should have dog poopoo trapper.

Someone, go paten that shit.

2009-06-15T21:30:00.000-07:00

It just came to me: My personality is similar to Jack Black's character. The way I say "Dude" all the time, in annoying mannerism, how prick-ish he is as a character, weird facial expression.... evidences are there.

I am the Asian female version of Jack Black.

2009-06-06T21:20:00.000-07:00

This couple of days has been greatly warm. My hippy dresses/skirts are in full bloom. I am re-inventing myself out of " I'm punk rawk, and I don't give a fuck" to " I am a flower child, let's hug a tree".

This is me in the 90s.

This is me in the year 2000. Mind you, I do wear clothes often.

Not that I dig hugging or touching people all that much. In fact, I am not a touchy person in anyway. You can ask Mr.Peanut and he'll tell you so.

Anyways, I guess because of the heat and such, I have been wearing sandals and such. I feel like my hands have been uber dirty when in fact, it's not.

It's like having fantom acid trip at your hands.

You know? like seeing dirt on your hands when there are none. Is this mean I'm really turning into Cheech and Chong?

2009-06-03T19:56:00.000-07:00

Today, I was talking to Mr.Peanut about tattoos, terrible tattoos in general. He told me that to me, a lot of people would seem like they have shitty tattoos. I cannot deny this fact.

This one is gnarly.

This one is just bad ass.

My tattoos are pretty awesome ( sans my stars ). He told me that kid from the restaurant he slaved for so long got really rad tattoo when he was there. Just picture an awkward 7 feet tall boy, with a back piece of Mutant Ninja Turtles. It was red one, apparently.

He told me it was rad but I don't know. I have to look at it with my own damn eyes.

Then we were discussing cheezy tattoos. I told him that if he became a dad, I can see him with cheezy tattoo dedicated to the child. He told me " Oh, that's nice that you think so highly of me". I did not mean it as an insult, although a lot of thing I say come across as an insult.

I said it's ok one of us needs to be cheezy. I am the "I fucking hate everything" person in the relationship. He thought I was funny. I meant it for real. I am the pissy poo-poo person of the relationship.

I fucking hate everythin'

2009-06-02T21:47:00.000-07:00

Today, I saw a lady with onion looking hair. She had black velvety looking frilly shirt with tan colour blazer with her passport in the jacket pocket, all protected in a ziploc bag.

She reminded me of this famous lady in Japan.

It's totally different topic, but when I was a kid, there used to be a kid show called "Ponkikkies" which featured 2 unidentifiable creatures, possibly related to dinasoures. Anyways, the red one is "Mukku" and the green one is "Gachapin". The red one is the worry wort and the green one is adventurous.

The green one dives, cuts vegetables and shit. Pretty weird stuff. He has balls stuck all over his arm and supposedly, they work like suction cup. You can actually buy a dvd of the green guy doing sports and shit. You should check it out. My people are crazy.

By the way, I suppose you can dress up as "Gachapin" and this is what you can look like. Gross is what.

2009-05-25T19:29:00.000-07:00

I want Dyson vacuum because North American vacuums are just not build for my people. But then again, Dyson looks heavy also.

Look at our vacuum. Just admit that we are better than you when it comes to laundry machines and vacuum. When it comes to clothing sizes and fashion senses, you beat us.

our vacuum

our costume

your clothing sizes

2009-05-24T10:54:00.000-07:00

Mr. Peanut used to be white t-shirt and jeans kind of a guy then he went to Japan only to discover the world of my fashion sense. I like to think I'm white v-neck shirt and jeans kind of a girl but I guess in reality, I wear a lot of hippy attire in the summer or just weirdo bright colour clothes.

For example, I like rain frog green. I also like busy colour scheme. But if you ever paid attention to any hippy thing at all, you may have noticed it's very confusing in colour scheme, just like hippy's too much weed/acid mind.

I was at Value Village yesterday per usual. I keep it to my usual route when I go there ( children's dress-shoes- adult shoes- vintage section- dress). When I got to the Vintage section, there was a couple. The lady had way too tight leggings on which made her have possibly couple extra folds under her own buns. and where the legging ended, her legs came out similar of those baby's legs coming out of their socks.

They must have been going to a party with over used theme of "the 70s". They were arguing furiously over what she is going to wear. According to Mr. Peanut who saw them also, she smelled like Barbecue, or I guess, smoky. I just notice her legs as well as her intense bleached hair.

Anyway, it was funny because so it happens, I had this green tent dress with bell sleeves with embroidery. We met at the Vintage Section when they were arguing about what to wear because she was hungry and the party was about to start. They stared for full 5 second or so before they continued.

The lady kind of looked like Kelly Osborne in this photo, but blonde.

We also encountered a guy in a red Trans Am who fulfilled all the requirements.
1) He had blonde long, wavy hair.
2) He was in white tank top.
3) He had a wrap around sunglasses.
4) He had equally haggard lady in the car.

I wish he looked like this man, but alas, he didn't.

The point is not made in this entry but I thought I should try writing something. It came out with random ending. But that's cool beans because I am random.

2009-05-18T17:24:00.000-07:00

I am, as some people already know, very dude-esq in my speech and urbanized hippy-esq in looks. Today, I went to Japanese grocery store on Quadra, only to find it closed. I said to Mr.Peanut " Shit dawg, it's closed" only to realize there was a lady who heard me say so real loud and responded to me in very normal voice " oh really? that's too bad"

That was tad embarrassing. Just a little.

I don't realize it most of the time but really, I guess I come across something of Hippo-Griffin. With flat bum. I would have made ugly looking marching band kid and that's a fact.

2009-05-14T21:30:00.000-07:00

I am dry like Bill Murray, apparently. I am cool with that so long it's either Bill Murray as: Peter Venkman from the Ghostbusters or that dude from Broken Flower. But this does not mean that I am bolding, paunchy middle aged man, not just yet give me couple of more years to mature. I need that time in order to be able to rock track suits more comfortably.

2009-05-11T19:16:00.000-07:00

There are certain things that I fear. You could say I have a phobia.

1) Pointy things
I hate pointy tips pointing at me. As I write this, it's making me want to squint my eyes. I just cannot stand looking at pointy objects pointing at me.

2)Small, dark, hot places, such as under the duvet, but someone is on top of you on the outside and you can't move.
I believe this is called claustrophobia. My brother and my dad used to do this to me and to this day, I don't like above mentioned situation.

But really, the worst fear I have living in Victoria is....

SEAGULL SHIT ON MY FACE OR ANYWHERE ON MY BODY.

Every time I hear the gulls, I freak out and make sure that they are not above me or anywhere near. Tell me I'm not alone on this one.

On the other hand, I am not afraid to touch cockroaches by hand, nor spider nor inch warm by hand. I can listen to poop story while eating and watch gore movie while eating also.

2009-05-10T10:58:00.000-07:00

There was ( maybe she is still alive) a lady in Ivanhoe, Australia named Cindy Ray. She became pretty huge in the 50s to 60s ( I think) as a female tattoo artist, producing her own tattoo guns and such. She didn't even know how famous she got for a long time.

The reason she became tattoo artist was because she wanted to be a circus tattoo lady.

If Ringring Brothers and those freak show circuses were still allowed, I may think about being a tattoo lady.

But probably not the half lady because I don't know what's up with that. Oh freak show, I love learning about them.

2009-05-04T19:09:00.000-07:00

I really want Chewy as my pal. He is my dream pal. He is nice and warm in the winter and not so nice and cool in the summer. But I can deal with his short coming. I am ok with that. And besides, he is so damn adept with machineries!

I think everyone should have Chewy as their pal. I don't mind having Animal as my pal either.

Shhh, I have notice that I have a thing for furry things that makes noise instead of speaking.

2009-05-03T17:56:00.000-07:00

I may come across as a mean and bitchy individual sometimes, and insanely hyper some other times ( usually, when I consume sugar ) but really, I am very very relaxed most of the times.

I am a relaxed person with very anal cleanliness policy and prissy attitude towards discipline.

Me angry

Me hyper

Me usual minus the "bird"

2009-04-30T22:12:00.000-07:00

I don't know about other people, but really, I am fascinated with toilet related information. I think it's quite important to be aware of what's coming out from you. It's often the first indication of illness.

So, I have noticed that when I drink a cup of coffee, the first pee after that smells kind of like coffee. And as many people already knows, when you eat asparagus, your pee smells really bad and Vitamin C pills makes your pee very very yellow.

It's fascinating, really. You may end up with nice smelly farts with right kind of combination.

And did you know that you can buy a urine test kit with fake penis in 10 different colours? If you are a stoner and you may have to take the pee test, don't fret! Buy this kit and you'll be just fine and dandy.

you can also purchase plush toy of poo and pee. I feel the world is finally ready to embrace their fascination with "down there" like I do!

2009-04-26T18:33:00.000-07:00

Do you remember the days when tribal tattoos are all the rage? Then, you must remember the ass tattoo on girls. It seemed so appealing when the ultra low-rise pants were in.

But in reality, I am not so sure. In my mind, it's rarely good, if not, down right harsh-beans.

Themes are usually:
1) Tribal

2)butterfly

3) flower, stars and fancy dancy

You know what I'm talkin bout. I am not so proud to say that I have stars. I am not so proud but I ain't gonna do nothin bout that.

BUt I do respect this one:

2009-04-25T18:17:00.000-07:00

I have always wondered about "flip a bird" gesture.

Why is it so revolting?

Supposedly, it goes all the way back to the Roman time. This is one of the theory:

Giving someone "the finger" is one of the basest violations in modern culture, but its origins date back over 2500 years. The first written record of the insult occurred in ancient Greece, where the playwright Aristophanes (the Adam Sandler of his day) made a crude joke mixing up the middle finger and the penis. Even back then, the bird was considered an aggressive, phallic put-down.

It has been argued by anthropologists that the finger is a a variant of a classic "phallic aggressive" gesture used by primates. By jabbing a threatening phallus at your enemy like a wild animal, you aren't just belittling him, but also making him your sexual inferior. Instead of using a real penis, civilized Janes and Platos called upon the substitute wieners within their own hands to mock, threaten, and humiliate opponents.

Basically, things like this always goes back to "Wang" It always does. Anything bad.

Tomorrow, I will talk about my wonderment towards Ass Tattoos.

2009-04-24T20:29:00.000-07:00

I caught a cold and I am dizzy. I was supposed to go camping tomorrow, but no dice.

Have you ever spun yourself sick on a chair?

I have. Not puked, but got sick.

So, I wanted to look for a picture titled closed to "the most beautiful runny nose in the world". There were non. Just goes to show you that even when Madonna has runny nose, it ain't pretty.

However, I found this. So genius.

2009-04-21T21:30:00.000-07:00

If you were to change your name, what would you be?

If I were 8, I want to be Rainbow.

Rainbow Brite to be exact. I wanted to ride dem pony.

I don't want to be Rainbow now. I am a-ok with my name.

I know I don't want to be Bif Naked, that's for sure.

I wouldn't mind being Mycroft Holmes.

2009-04-19T22:00:00.000-07:00

I believe in Fraggle Rocks.

I hear they are being turned into live action.

I hate you capitalistic world. What the hell is going to happen to that weird dog that's so friggin' huge by fraggle standard? And the giant? It's gonna be too creepy, you just know it.

You are breaking all the kids of the 80s hearts. That theme song gets me excited every time.

2009-04-18T19:48:00.000-07:00

today, I lost badly at a Crockett game.

today I discovered that many people don't like the word "gunt". I personally don't like the word "cunt"

This guy's last name is GUNT. But I am assuming that it is pronounced as "GEUNT" or some shit.

not "gaunt". I am kind of gaunt but only mildly so.

This character is apparently called the GAUNT. There is some gaunt-ness about this guy but I wonder what his super power is. Just being mean and lean at the same time?

English is confusing.

2009-04-17T19:17:00.000-07:00

my eyes hurt. it's been hurting for 2 days now.

first the fart storm hit me,

then eye ball killer hit me.

maybe I'll be hit by bad hair day next.

Then, I am not sure. Maybe I will start eat meat again and wear muumuu and moonwalk everywhere.

I wanted to organize my wedding party to dance exactly like Thriller at my wedding. It was veto-ed by all. I still wish I did it.

2009-04-15T19:48:00.000-07:00

Hey guys

I woke up at 20 past 5 today because Mr.Peanut got up. As I am blind as a bat, I just assumed it was time to get up. Only to realize 10 mins later that it is not 6 o'clock, but rather, 5. I had serious indigestion due to eating too much on early morning tummy. I had big tummy for rest of the day.

However, this may have to do with the fact that I have been eating the same black bean soup for like 3 meals. Can I say, I am gassy? I mean, really, I've been the fart factory all day.

this picture is titled "wet suit fart" it's awesome it blows my mind

BTW Do you know what is the most effective way to diverse stinky fart?

A. By hopping side ways like a crab and hitting your bum.

It is all true! We japanese know eeeeeverything

All of me

2009-04-12T10:47:00.000-07:00

I am not sure if I am the only person on this earth who gets really pissed at restaurants. Don't get me wrong, I am generally very relaxed urban hippy in attitude (sans petuli), but when I'm hungry, and the food you order take like an hour and half to come out, I get really critical and sarcastic.

But maybe that's what Hulk feels when he ends up ripping his clothes every time he's upset and starts freaking out.

Me with content stomach

Me with no food in my stomach

2009-04-11T09:37:00.000-07:00

Do you like cheese? I like cheese. Depends on what cheese, but I like cheese, a lot. It gives me terrible burping problem sometimes, but I like cheese a lot.

I know I wrote about this before, but I think the Dairy Farmers of Canada has new ad where a kid is not eating whatever is on their plate ( mostlikely vegetable ) then all of the sudden, a boy ( in the newest version a juggler man ) made out of cheese appears!

It is amazing.

On the other hand, the deodorant, AXE, has this commercial involving a dude turned into a chocolate dude, now that shit is whack, yo.

I am assuming that Dairy Farmers of Canada ad is not as popular as AXE commercial. What a bummer.

I just like to say that I like cheese and chocolate but I don't like pizzas or chocolate bar that much. In fact, I don't think I can eat a whole slice of pizza without having harsh indigestion.

2009-04-09T21:03:00.000-07:00

IF you are my blog's avid reader, then you know I have issues with certain clothing style. If I could dictate a city, I would definitely ban certain styles that I find not pleasing to my little eyes.

I decided to add 2 more

1)Legging as pants
You know what? No one cares about your saggy bum bum nor young camel toe-d cooch. Unless you know how to run, at least cover your crotch with longer shirt or with shorts.

2)Surf shorts worn as regular shorts
Dude, is your name Jeff Spicoli? Do you know how to actually ride a surf board, not your ass mountain bike? As comfortable as it maybe to you, we do not care to see a swimming shorts in day to day basis. Might as well wear speedos.

2009-04-05T17:37:00.001-07:00

my peanut looks a lot like the singer from the Hives, as well as Kevin Costner circa 80s.

I don't particularly look like anyone but occasionally, I look like this.

2009-04-03T18:37:00.000-07:00

sometimes, I wonder what it feels like to have hair like cousin "Itt" from the Addams Family.

sometimes, i think my hair looks awesome.

sometimes, i think my hair smells really bad, like camp fire.

sometimes, i really hate seeing dandruff on other people because it paranoids me to no ends.

I really enjoy smelling people's hair ( I only like to smell those who I know real well. I mean, I don't go around smelling just any bum or nothin' )

robot dance

2009-04-01T18:58:00.000-07:00

Some people are always striving to be certain way (ie: Octomom or whatever she is called. She is creepy. And that lady who tried to change herself into a cat and other lady who had gazillion of surgery to look like barbie)

Some find Britney Spears hot, Jessica Simpson hot Angelina Jolie hot.

Me? I think Shelly Duval is the shit.

I am built to wear and live in the 60s.

Peace, Love, and all the hippy shenanigans. Let us just meditate and listen to the 13th floor elevator in peace, maaan.

Obviously, I am super tired and hungry and grumpy and inpatient.

all the common men

2009-03-30T19:25:00.000-07:00

I used to be really good friend with this guy Jeff. We were like a sister and a brother. I loved him dearly. We used to live together as a roommate even. He still lives in Vancouver, and we don't talk anymore. But I have fond memories of him.

Anyway, when I attended an all-ages show last night, I saw at least 3 Jeff doppelganger. So it got me thinking.

WAS HE AHEAD OF HIS TIME OR IS HE THE MOST COMMON LOOKING PERSON IN PUNK SCENE?

There is at least 1 Jeff in every friend circle.

Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder

2009-03-29T09:57:00.000-07:00

As you have already noticed, everyone has different standard when you are speaking about "beauty". But when you are talking about adjective to describe someone of that status, there are only so few words: hot, smoking, cute and whathaveyou.

So you don't actually know if the person described as "hot" is hot or not in your eyes.

Me being so scientific, I came up with very easy to use system to rate "hotness" so everyone is on the same page, rather than 2 planets away. I have never experienced this myself personally, but you always hear horror story of a blind date going wrong when someone is introduced to you as "cute and sexy" turned out to be "cuddly and bear like". If you use this system I am about to reveal to you, you will never have to experience it again. Unless of course, your friend is acting like a dink and lied. I am in no way responsible for dat.

So here is my system: you use famous people (wait, there is more)

hotness of Alissa Milano (who's the boss era) or Christina Applegate ( all my children era) - this one can be tried with Charmed era and more recent Applegate

hotness of Bush X or Incubus

hotness of Blur or Oasis

Rivers Cuomo of Weezer or Matt Sharp of ex-Weezer

hotness of Jim Carey

hotness of Micheal Keaton, George Clooney or Christian Bale Batman

hotness of Bill Murray

hotness of Courtney Love

This is I think by far the best:

hotness of Kittie ( this is used like this - " she is weird and kinda dark, you know, like Kittie "

or

hotness of the cranberries

Miss

2009-03-26T22:23:00.000-07:00

My friend is great. She shoots from her hips but with grace. Unlike me. I just shoot from hips but I also sneak an upper cut on top of that. Why aren't everyone just like us?

Wait, if everyone was just like us, we will have cat ladies pandemic. In a way, that would be interesting to see. Dudes with gazillions of sperms, no where to go. Lots and lots of meowing, meowing and hissing.

Ok Ok, it's just my version of the cat ladies pandemic. I am sure my friend's version of future would be like cute babies with chubby cheeks, sparkling wine on a checkered picnic cloth, wearing really cute summer dress, eating strawberry or two.

She is great.

I am great sometimes, only if you give me something to eat.

PS. This goes out to my Chudchud. If I were to write a review for the Ghosts album it will go like this: "It sounds just like a band Ian Curtis would form if he decided it's not cool to have seizure and be an avant garde prick all the time, and decides that the future lies in early 90's"

I believe

2009-03-24T20:10:00.000-07:00

in magic.

just kidding. But sometimes, as much as I'm afraid of it, I believe in ghosts and sprits.

some other times, I don't think about it much.

little wish little hope

2009-03-22T09:39:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, I wish I could shrink myself and see from cat's point of view. ( it could be dogs also ) Basically, to imagine what it's like to be that short and covered with hair all over. This wish stems from the fact that I am cold all the time. The only time I'm not cold is in the middle of the summer. For mere 2 short months I don't complain but rest of the year? Forget it mister.

Another thing I want to transform myself into would be the borrowers. Although realistically, they have it pretty tough ( I mean, you live in between the floor and you have to risk your life trying to "borrow" stuff from someone close to 100 times bigger than you. )

As much as I love sumrfs, I don't want to look like them. I just like to adore them from afar. I will consider being a gnome, not the girl gnome though. I don't know why but no way.

P.S. I know the cat photo is not so good PC-wise, but it's funny in very crass way. I enjoy toilet and crass humor.

Are you....

2009-03-21T11:06:00.000-07:00

or technically, were you excited it was TGIF?

I have better one: TGIMFBYBY

chaching!

when

2009-03-19T17:47:00.000-07:00

When I have too much sugar ( such of a can of pop ) I get hyper.

Some might say I get insane with jazzy movements.

I am jazzy, period.

I also get insane when I get hungry. I break shit, and whine.

my crack

2009-03-17T19:20:00.000-07:00

SWEET FANCY MOSES!

I am addicted to Seinfeld. I stay awake later now so I can watch the show. Is there such a thing as SA? Sein-anon?

wet or dry?

2009-03-16T18:22:00.000-07:00

For those who get grossed out easily, this entry ain't for you.

Did you know that there are 2 kind of people out there as far as the consistency of your ear wax? There is no mix, it's either dry or wet. Japanese people tend to be dry, South-East Asians tend to be wet, as well as Caucasians. Don't know about Mexicans or Afro-Americans.

Anyways, I have very dry one myself and terrible hearing. I always thought it was my concentration or self-absorption issues but I met someone else who has the exact same hearing issue as I do! The issue we both have is that we can't hear the word properly, we hear something like the word being said. ( Good example being Barack Obama. First time I heard it, I just thought his name was Black Obama or usually something really weird )

So it happens, this person also has really dry ear wax!!!

Could it be the dry wax people have hearing issues??

Anyone anyone?

2009-03-15T19:39:00.000-07:00

Girls with slight wondering eye are hot, but boys with the same condition is not so much.

This picture is random but wonderful. Pretending to be Egyptian looks fun.

CONSPIRACY blues

2009-03-12T18:52:00.000-07:00

Did you know that yesterday was Osama Bin Ladin's 52nd birthday?

P.S. Supposedly, Osama and Hitler both only has/had 1 testicle. I also heard that Osama is a hermaphrodite.

So, if you want to dictate the world, I suggest you sacrifice your 1 testicle to the cause, and possibly, growing some kind of highly impressionable facial hair helps too. If you are a woman wanting to rule the world, I suggest you have plastic surgery to make yourself look like Hilary Clinton.

Just shitting with your mind, of course.

pssss...

2009-03-11T18:47:00.000-07:00

Keep it hush hush, but my feet are so flat. So flat in fact, I can make farting sound with my non-existing arches at pools and I can make horrifying teeth grind noises while I'm asleep without waking myself up!

If you fold $20 american dollar into an airplane shape, you can see the pentagon on fire on one side and the twin tower on fire on the other side! Apparently, this is a very well known fact ( according to my mom and my brother ). My almost mother told me that it must be invented by a drunkard. CONSPIRACY!

all in the family

2009-03-09T20:04:00.000-07:00

As you know, certain things get passed down from your parents to you. Such examples are Samantha's magic nose twitching to her half human daughter,( By the way, I was well into my adulthood when I discovered that her husband's name was not "Darling" but rather, "Darren" or something ), bad-posture, bad eyesight, and what have you.

In my family? The love for stripey things. We ( excluding my papa ) love stripey clothes. We must be related to Hamberglar somewhere. In fact, my mother maybe have had an affair with him to bore such stripey loving children.

P.S. I am a slacker vegetarian who eats fish. So obviously, I did not inherit Hamberglar's love for Hamburger. Not everything gets passed down, you know?

just do it

2009-03-07T19:40:00.001-08:00

Hi people!

While I was in Japan, I went to this crazy amusement park which contained the longest wooden roller coaster ride as well as this thing called "Steel Dragon 2000". We actually didn't ride the mother ( I really dislike roller coaster or anything that makes my heart bump and grind ) because by the time we got around to it, it was closed but I will attach some pictures of the ride I found.

The highest point of the whole coaster is 97 meters, which is approximately 320 feet high. The second highest point is probably somewhere in 300 feet level. The red line indicates the first section of the ride coming out of the entrance, and the blue indicates going back to the entrance. As you can see, you will pee your pants or at least end up with very sweaty palms. If you ever get to go to this park, its worth every penny.

2009-03-06T17:11:00.000-08:00

I am back from Japan. Apparently, people can still function somewhat normally after 30 hours with little sleep.

P.S. I got to go to Denver International Airport!
P.P.S. I have some conspiracy theory to share it with you soon.

If

2009-02-20T23:02:00.000-08:00

You know, as much as I want to sound cosmopolitan and shit, it still buffles me to cross the time zone. I understand it as a theory in my mind, to seriously, to leave your home at 5:30am on Thursday and be somewhere else at 4:30 on Friday in less than 24 hours is weird. Or to leave somewhere on Thursday night just to arrive somewhere else on Thursday day in less than 24 hours is also strange.

It`s the easiest way to pretend you know how to time travel or feel like you just time traveled.

2009-02-17T14:57:00.000-08:00

I was watching part of All star basketball game the other day. As much as I know nothing about basketball, I noticed one thing. Well, actually, I've been wondering about this for a while: interesting choices of name for Afro-American people. I mean, these days, anything goes and you don't actually never see name like Enid, Donna, Basil, Bertha and what have you.

But you know what I mean. I wonder the name choices for Afro-Americans derive from its diverse racial background and religions ( you know, like Islam, Judaism, Gospel type Christianity, African, Tahitian, etc, etc ) On the other hand, us Asians are pretty boring.

Anyways, only person with interesting name that I know the image of is Dwid from Integrity. I am positive that's not his real name but he's been Dwid for at least 15 years. I once knew a boy who dined with Integrity in Cleveland. He said they were really scary. They threw a potato at a car, almost causing an accident on American highway.

I am obviously not in the top notch shape according to this post. I'm waiting for my bread dough to rise, gimme a break.

girl of all seasons

2009-02-17T14:46:00.000-08:00

If you ever owned a pet or two, you know they shed generally but shed a lot during seasonal change-a-loo. Cats get thicker coat during the winter, that I know as a fact. As much as I hate snakes and reptiles ( it's making me gross as I type the word ), they shed their good ol' scale. Supposedly, if you find an intact snake skin, keep it. It will make you rich.

Anyways, my question is: does human have seasonal shedding sesh too? I feel I'm shedding a lot more hair than usual right now. Hair strands on ground makes me feel grossed out, but this is out of control. I mean, it's a wonder that I'm not going bold yet. As much as I like my hair long and messy, this is making me consider shaving it all off for the sake of not seeing my own disgusting hair shed sesh. Maybe it's a sign that I need to comb my hair. I have not combed my hair in a long, long time. No, I am not a Rastafarian, I am living in the age of Aquarius.

clear

2009-02-16T17:39:00.000-08:00

I just want to clarify that I am afraid of overly large people, not any large strangers.

And also I love saying "fantabulous". Apparently,Little Richard made that up.

knight's move

2009-02-16T15:19:00.000-08:00

I am into numbers. I love calculating tips correctly without help from my cell phone or casio calculator watch. I get such satisfaction out of them that it's actually kind of sad. My love for numbers extend to my love of Sudoku also.

On the other hand, I suck, I mean SHIT, I suck at crossword puzzle or Rubik's cube. Don't you dare bringing those near me.

On totally different note, I am afraid of large strangers. I am the first one to admit it too, I think. I guess thus my love for small creatures such as smurfs and gnomes. Is that size-ism? I want some input on this one for sure. I want to get to the bottom of this because I am uncomfortable with the fact that I am afraid!

surprise surprise

2009-02-15T08:58:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was Valentine's day, which I think is over-rated. I am sure a lot of people acquired pimple/zits from eating too much chocolate. It seems to put a lot of pressure on people, you know? Whatever, though. That is not the point of this post, I guess it is in a way.

How do you feel about Kinder Surprise? Do you like them? I was highly into them in my high school years. I even thought the chocolate wasn't so bad. I really really liked them when they had Smurf collection. I bought them often, traded my Smurfs for the one I don't own, got upset when I ended up getting the puzzle. I did keep on buying the surprise well after the collection was over ( spradicaly, nontheless ) Only thing that stopped me from buying is when then came up with "modern art collection" which required no assembling and was just lame, lame and lamofo.

But that was like 10 years ago, maybe I should restore my faith in the egg again. Everytime I'm in the line up for grocery, I look at them and ponder the purchase. Haven't done it though. I used to feel the same way about that weird newspaper, Weekly World News or something. You know that one all about Bat boy is born! or Fattest person on earth. There is so much lure into reading that thing, but in very perverted, hush hush way.

cat-type robot, blue

2009-02-14T08:52:00.000-08:00

I dreamed about this last night. At least part of it. I actually stopped remembering dream for a while there but it came back to me!

coincidence?

2009-02-13T17:37:00.000-08:00

Mr. Potatohead is one of the host of the Rogers sports network. Ok, that's bit harshing out, but really, this guy looks a lot like Mr.Potatohead.

terrifying

2009-02-13T09:55:00.000-08:00

In Japan, we have many strange things. We eat strange things. One of the example is this superhero named "Anpan-man ( red bean bun-man)" He is made out of red bean bun and his arch nemesis is called "Baikin-man (bacteria-man)" You can tell he is the bad boy of the show by his black and purple colouring as well as fang like teeth. I like his style very much.

The concept itself isn't so bad but the terrifying part is that Anpan-man saves good lost children by feeding part of his face (because it's eatable, you know?)! However, the more generous he gives away part of his face, the weaker he gets. Oh yeah, he is also totally not water resistant at all ( He is snack bun, afterall). So who comes to rescue? His baker and daughter. They do this miraculous switch-a-loo of the face and Anpan-man is good as new. I guess when you are little, you just don't question details but as an adult, I question many things, such as what his body made out of? Is he filled with red bean paste? What is his expiry date?

I never got to see GI Joes but I got to see Snack bun heros.

P.S. Brown one is Curry bun-man and the white one is English Loaf -man. The dog is whatever, the dog. The one in the spaceship looking thing is Ms. Heartbeat ( or really, palpitation ) I guess she's named that way because she can make your heart beat fast by looking hot? She's with my man,Bacteria-man but she uses her charm to get by. Really, we need slutty character in every show including kids show to teach kids a lesson.

Love and peace

2009-02-12T08:27:00.000-08:00

I watched many horror films as a kid. On looking back, maybe my parents should have censored what we watched or read little more but it's already been and done for. Can't cry over the tipped milk. Although I never ended up reading much comic books nor Ym nor Seventeen, at least I got to watch banned movies of the childhood.

I still like horror films. Not new remake-y ones ( such as Jason VS. Predator ) but love the classic old ones. Actually, I really liked 28 days later. Haven't had the guts to watch 28 weeks later because I was told it's really gore driven.

Anyways, here are the top 4 horror films that left strong impression on my still malleable brain:
1) The return of the living dead - First zombie you see is in a barrel full of tar. It ends with nuclear bomb.

2)Evil dead - The last scene, to this day, it is burned in my cornea.

3)Alien ( the original ) - Acidic drool......

4) Shining - I saw this movie during the day, but it still freaked me out.

As you notice, I apparently like zombies quite a bit.

6 million dollar man

2009-02-11T11:00:00.000-08:00

The other day, when we were watching Survivor man ( love the show ) we came across infomarcial with 6 million dollar man, now selling super duper hearing aid. That got me thinking, if I could be bionic, I will definitely get bionic eyes and knees. I will have infra-red and x-ray vision and I will have the most flexible knees in the world. That would be rad.

donut?

2009-02-11T09:43:00.000-08:00

Why do you think cops and baseball players pants are always, always tight on their buns? Is it because of eating too many donut syndrome? Or is it because they have kind of a job that makes their buns big and round like that?

sometimes, just sometimes.

2009-02-09T20:15:00.000-08:00

I am either getting sick again or having harsh allergy attack. Don't you wish you could have Inspector Gadget for your uncle too? He is bionic, like, really.

?

2009-02-08T18:00:00.001-08:00

Have you seen this chicken? Be aware of this chicken. I just ate piece of cheese and thought of Wallace and Gromet. Looove the film. Wish could knit as fast as Gromet.

P.S. I am aware I am competing against 4 legged animal who can hold knitting needles in his paws,

Be preparehead

2009-02-08T13:19:00.000-08:00

When I was a kid, I thought babies came from cabbage patch thanks to my cabbage patch doll named "Maggie" (I think that was the name) then I learned that storks ( I thought it was pelicans for a while there ) carry them to each mamas and papas. Now I know pod people are taking over the world. I always suspected the dude who did Spock was not really human nor part of the Legend of Zelda.

I love scary films. That maybe the reason why I'm so deadpan.

!

2009-02-07T19:19:00.000-08:00

DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT listen to Ummagamma by Pink Floyd while staring into fire. However, if you want to know what it feels like to observe satanic cult gathering, DO IT. DO IT NOW.

P.S. I know of a true guilty pleasure-level musician: Avril Lavine and Our Lady Peace ( Total canadiana touch )